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Toon Pirates 2 Ch 4 by ~julayla:iconjulayla:



In the sea, a storm was in the progress. The group inside the ship sailed through the storm before noticing a broken ship on the reefs.

Sora: That's the Invisible Hand?

Gibber nodded a bit.

June: She doesn't look like much.

Karnage: Neither do you... do not underestimate it.

He noticed the others not following before he elbowed them.

Mad Dog: Must've run afoul of the reef.

Karnage: What's your plan?

Sora: I row over, search the ship until I find your bloody key.

Karnage: And if there are crewmen?

Sora: I cut down anyone in my path.

He then walked away from the wolf.

Karnage: I like it. Simple, easy to remember.

Psycho: (to Maximus) I don't like the looks of this.

Maximus: I guess we should prepare to head on board.

The two headed off while Danny looked at June.

Danny: You wanna join them?

June: Nah, I wouldn't risk losing you if something happened.

Sora, Psycho, and Maximus climbed down to the rowboat.

Jessie: Your chariot awaits you. Ahahaha!

Meowth: Very funny.

Karnage: Oi! If you do have to get captured, just say Don Karnage sent you to settle his debt. Might save your life.

Meowth: Move on out, ahahaha!

The other three sighed, rowing to the ship that was in the reef. As they did, the wolf turned to the others.

Karnage: (to the crew) Douse the lamps.

They turned off the lamps as Nemesis looked concerned.

Nemesis: Please be all right.

The three in the boat kept rowing to the ship. On the ship, the three got on land. They looked around, noticing dead bodies as they rose their lanterns.

Psycho: Ick.

Just then, the three spotted a sailor named Bluto, wounded, muttering and pulling frantically on the pulley.

Bluto: ...up the...

Sora: Sailor.

Bluto: ...the stench...capsized...

Sora: Sailor!

Bluto: ...bring a...

Maximus: There's no use, you've run aground.

Bluto: No, many of us, without a prayer. Foul breath!

Behind the three, a body dropped from the mast. The man crawled, lying still.

Psycho: Hey! Hey!

The weasel walked to the body, then turned it around, though there was no face on it with the faceless part bulging outward.

Maximus: Oh great, what next?

Just then, a huge ship suddenly rose from the sea, nearby the ruined ship. The survivors then noticed some metallic robots and/or cyborgs emerging from the surface. The crew then started attacking the survivors as a robot called Cat R. Waul shouted.

Cat R. Waul: Go on your whereabouts and pray.

They took the panicking Bluto while the three noticed three robots named Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts going after them. Quickly, they took out their blades, with Maximus dipping his sword in oil, causing it to flame before he waved it to the three.

Maximus: Get back! Back!

The three slashed, though Coconuts' head was knocked off of his body by Sora, landing on the ground.

Coconuts: Oh great, and I just reattached it today!

Just then, another robot named Tai Lung hit them in the back, knocking them out.

Tai Lung: You three dumb bots...why we ever made you three, we'll never know.

Grounder: Still, we got one of them.

Scratch: Yeah. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!

A bit later, the three groaned, opening their eyes before noticing the other survivors cowering in fear. The three noticed they were lined up as they gulped.

Psycho: Nuts, what next?

Just then, they heard metallic clanking as something from the water arose. A robot named Memphis saluted.

Memphis: Eight men still alive, the rest have moved on.

The figure then neared one of the sailors before lighting his pipe, looking at the sailor named Matt. He was a silverish metallic Kaleesh cyborg with yellow eyes and his mask covering his face. He wore a mask of a Kaleesh, a black trenchcoat with a white-red cape, and black pants. He was known as General Grievous.

Grievous: (to Matt) Do you fear death? Do you fear that dark abyss?

Matt only nodded a bit, shaking a little.

Grievous: All your deeds laid bare. All your sins punished. I can offer you an escape.

The sailor named Luigi gulped before he shouted.

Luigi: Don't listen to him!

The cyborg glanced at the plumber shaking badly while holding a cricifix on his hands. He then stepped up to the plumber, grabbing his throat with his mettalic claws.

Grievous: Do you not fear death?

Luigi: I'll take my chances, sir.

Grievous: To the depths.

Then, Memphis stepped behind him, slicing the poor plumber's throat open while the others looked away. The robots laughed as the body was thrown overboard.

Bluto: Cold blood!

Grievous: Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different? I offer you a choice. Join my crew and postpone the judgment. One hundred years before the mast.

He glanced at the one named Wile E.

Grievous: Will you serve?

Wile E.: I-I-I will serve.

Grievous: That's grand.

He then walked up to Sora, Psycho, and Maximus. He then noticed something particular about them.

Grievous: You three are neither dead nor dying. What is your purpose here?

They cringe before the weasel replied.

Psycho: Don Karnage sent us to settle his debt.

Grievous: What is your purpose here?

Sora: Don Karnage...sent us to settle his debt.

Grievous: Ha. Did he now? I'm sorely tempted to accept that offer.

Back in the White Pearl, the wolf pirate looked through the spyglass, noticing Grievous. Then, he saw the cyborg glancing at him. When he placed it down, he gasped, noticing Grievous was standing on board, directly in front of him.

Karnage: Oh no.

The crew gasped in fright, backing away as far as they could before more robots appeared, grabbing each one with Scratch and Grounder nearing their toy knives near Jessie, James, and Meowth.

James: Ahhhh! (notices) I wet myself.

Scratch & Meowth: Ewww.

Karnage: Oh.

Grievous: You have a debt to pay.

He walked toward the wolf pirate as he kept backing away from the cyborg.

Grievous: You've been Captain of the White Pearl for 7 years. That was our agreement.

Karnage: Technically, I was only Captain for 2 years, then I was viciously mutinied upon.

Grievous: (glares) Then you were a poor Captain, but a Captain nonetheless. Have you not introduced yourself all these years as "Captain Don Karnage"?

The robots laughed as did Gir stupidly.

Zim: Quiet, Gir.

Karnage: Yeah, I gave you payment. Three souls to serve on your ship are already over there.

He motioned toward the ship now known to be the Invisible Hand.

Grievous: One soul is not equal to another.

Karnage: Aha! So we've establish my proposal is sound in principle, now we're just haggling over price.

Grievous: Price? Pttt!

Karnage: Just how many souls, do you think, my soul is worth?

Grievous: 100 souls. 3 days.

Karnage: You're a darling, mate. Send me back the boy, rodent-type person, and cat, I'll get started right off.

He prepared to head off, but he was stopped by Memphis glaring at him.

Grievous: I keep the boy, weasel, and pussycat, a good, faith payment. That leaves you only, oh, I say about 97 to go. Haha, haha.

Karnage: Have you not met Sora Strife? He's noble, heroic, a terrific soprano. Worth at least four, maybe three and a half. And did I happen to mention...he's in love. With a girl.

That made the cyborg look shocked, though masking it behind his mask.

Karnage: Due to be married. Betrothed. Dividing him from her and her from him would only be half as cruel as actually allowing them to be joined in holy matrimony. Aye?

He paused for a moment, then neared the wolf.

Grievous: I keep the boy. 97 souls-ah. But I wonder, Karnage...can you live with this? Can you condemn an innocent ally - a friend - to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?

He thought for a second before grinning.

Karnage: Yep. I'm good with it. Shall we seal it in blood, I mean, uh, oil?

His marked hand was then grabbed by the cyborg, shaking it.

Karnage: Ah.

Grievous: 3 days-ah.

The robots that were with him echoed the same thing as they released the crew and disappeared. Once Grievous was gone, Karnage opened his hand, noticing the black spot was gone.

Karnage: Uh, Garfield?

Garfield: Yeah?

Karnage: I feel sullied and unusual.

Mad Dog: And how do we intend to harvest these 97 souls in 3 days?

Karnage: Fortunately, he was mum as the condition in which these souls need be.

Dumptruck: (grins) Aah, Pirate Island.

He then wiped his oily hand on Mad Dog's vest, much to his annoyance.

Karnage: Pirate Island.

Back on the ship Ariel's group was in, Sy Beastly and Skulker were talking to one another as he frowned.

Skulker: It's an outrage. (throws down the papers) Port tariffs, berthing fees, war handling and, heaven help us, pilotage. Are we all to work for these India Trading Company, then?

Beastly: I'm afraid, sir...Pirate Island is the only free post left in these waters.

Skulker: A pirate port is what you mean. Well, I'm sorry, an honest sailor is what I am and make my living fair and I sleep well each night, thank you.

Just then, a familiar dress was floating by outside the window.

Sylvester: (notices) Sir!

He pointed out to the window. They looked out the window, gasping as they saw the floating dress once more coming to them. They screamed, running outside. Outside, the group looked as the dress hung in mid-air. The other sailors, noticing, came as they also noticed. Unknown to any of them, Ariel and her group were controlling the dress while Rubeus shouted, noticing it trying to point.

Rubeus: She wants you to do something.

Skulker: She's trying to give a sign.

The dress swept over a lantern, knocking it over with part of the deck igniting while the snake above slapped his forehead.

Skulker: Over there! Look for a sign!

They rushed to the other side of the ship as quickly as possible. The group sighed while the wolf frowned.

Sheriff: Oh, fo' 'de love o'-

They dropped the dressed, jumping down from the mast. All while Beastly noticed something on the water.

Beastly: Look, there! There it is! (points to the water) There's the sign.

There, they saw the dress in the water.

Marik: I seen it.

Beastly: So we can be saved. Looks like entrails.

Skulker: That'd be a bad sign.

They came down, with the others resuming hiding with Sarah and Ariel coming up.

Sarah: (notices) What's that over there?

The crew moved toward them. The crew looked at the fire that was from the lantern spelling "Pirate Island". On Pirate Island, men were tied up with ropes alongside a well while a man was tied up, being dunked in the well. He then came out with water in his mouth. In a tavern, glass bottles were hot off of people's head with some musicians playing a guitar & accordian. All while Karange's group were looking for new recruits.

Danny: (notices) Hey, here comes one.

June: Let's get this started.

Garfield: And what makes you think you're worthy to crew the White Pearl?

The man named Luxord cleared his throat.

Luxord: Truth be told, I never sailed a day in my life. I figure I should get out and see the world while I'm still young.

Mad Dog: (grins) You'll do. (points to a paper) Make your mark. Next!

The hybrid named Argit sighed as he began drinking.

Argit: My wife ran off with my dog, and I'm drunk for a month, and I don't give an ass rat's if I live or die.

Dumptruck: Perfect! Next!

As the auditions continued, the wolf held his compass, muttering to himself.

Karnage: I know what I want, I know what I want, I know what I want.

He then opened it, but it was still not showing him what he had desired, much to his annoyance while a one armed strong man named Mammoth spoke.

Mammoth: I have one arm and a bum leg.

Danny: It's the crow's nest for you.

Karnage: I know what I want.

He opened it, but once more, nothing happened.

Danny: Next!

The man named Gaston grinned as he spoke.

Gaston: Ever since I was little, I've always wanted to sail the seas. Forever.

June: (sweatdrops) Sooner than you think. Sign the roster.

Gaston: Thanks very much.

He signed it while Karnage looked at Nemesis using a chalkboard, marking lines indicating 4.

Karnage: How are we going?

Nemesis: Including those four? That gives us...four.

The wolf, annoyed, shook his compass vigorously, trying to make the direction right while a familiar man, though dirty and with messy clothing, came to them.

Danny: And what's your story?

Seifer: My story?

They nodded to him.

Seifer: It's exactly the same as your story, just one chapter behind. I chased a man across the Seven Seas.

The wolf closed his compass, looking for a spot to hide it quickly.

Seifer: The pursuit cost me my crew, my commission, and my life.

He grabbed a bottle of rum off a table, taking a swig, which was unlike himself. Just then, Danny, June, and Garfield gasped at the familiar face.

Three: Commodore?

Seifer: No, not anymore, weren't you listening?

The three only looked a bit uncomfortable.

Seifer: I nearly had you all off Tripoli. I would've, if not for the hurricane.

Karnage took a leafy plant, quickly hiding behind it.

Danny: Oh man!

June: Good Lord. You didn't try to sail through it?

Seifer: So do I make your crew or not? You haven't said where you're going. Somewhere nice!

He got up, lifting the table and flipping it, making the three fall off the stool with the music stopping. Everyone stared while Karnage tried walking out unseen by anyone.

Seifer: So am I worthy to serve under Captain Don Karnage?

The man with the scar then spotted the wolf pirate, pointing a pistol to him.

Seifer: Or should I just kill you now?

He ducked back and forth behind both sides of a large post with Seifer continued pointing the pistol.

Karnage: You're hired.

Norrington: Sorry. Old habits and all that.

He prepared to shoot before a boy named Jake and a girl named Misty forced him to point up the ceiling.

Jake: Easy sailor!

Misty: Stop!

It fired, with the bullet ricocheting off the lights, breaking a bottle someone was about to drink. Just then, he slugged someone while the brawl against each pirate began with the music starting again.

Karnage: Time to go.

All: Right.

Then, Ariel's group arrived with them helping the former soldier fight off his attackers with the sword as Seifer kept on drinking. Someone threw a bottle against the wall up the stairs. Karnage ducked as it smashed above his head. He with the others kept going up while kept trading hats a few times.

Karnage: Thanks, mate.

He touched the pirate's shoulder and the man fell off his perch on the railing.

Karnage: Oooh.

Just then, he stopped, letting two pirates proceed toward the edge on the balcony.

Karnage: Carry on.

Pirates: Heave!

The two pirates threw the carried man off the balcony as Karnage continued his way. Then, the music stopped as Seifer and the others with him were surrounded by sword, though he still held his bottle.

Norrington: Come on, then! Who wants some? For my lordly line, I'll have you one by one. Come on, who's first?

Ariel, frowning, grabbed the bottle from him, smashing it over his head and knocking him out.

Elizabeth: I just wanted the pleasure of doing that myself.

The crowd cheered as they held their mugs for a toast, much to Sir Hiss' annoyance.

Sir Hiss: Note to self: don't get involved with stuff like this.

Outside, Seifer was heaved out by some pirates to a pig's pen. They left carefully while only Ariel's group looked at him with pity.

Brandy: Hoo boy.

The group helped Seifer up, much to his surprise at who's face it was. Unknown to any of them, a familiar yellow skinned man watched from the doorway of the tavern.

Ariel: Seifer Almsey. (sighs) What has the world done to you?
Creative Commons License
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:iconjulayla:

Author's Comments

Parody of the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie starring Sora, Psycho, and Don Karnage.

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:iconmerrilynthepirate:
I was about to say, "you didn't make most of this up, you just jumbled up the POTC movies" and then I was going to be mad at you and say "Hollywood should sue you" but then you gave credit, so I'm not going to say anything bad against it. Hahaha.

--
~Merrilyn G.K.~

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

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June 19, 2008
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