Secret of Mankey Island 13

Chapter 13: Duck Cannibals

The ducks frowned to him, glaring.

Green Duck: You've got a lot of nerve stealing from the notorious Mankey Island cannibals.

Greasy: You're cannibals?! But you're ducks.

Green Duck: Well, yes, I guess. Although, lately we've been trying to stay away from red meat.

Purple Duck: Only for health reasons.

Greasy: I thought you ducks were vegetarians.

Red Duck: Yes, we are...but one of us kept laying eggs!

Purple Duck: (glares) Stop talking about my eggs!!

Green Duck: (sighs) That aside, we're still as vicious as ever.

Red Duck: Especially with tourists who try to steal our stuff for souvenirs!

Green Duck: (glares) Well, what do you have to say for yourself?

Greasy: Um, well uh-(gasps) Look behind you! (pointing) A 3 headed Mankey!

Ducks: (looks back) What?

He started running before they realized the ruse.

Green Duck: (glares) Hey!

He yelped, being tripped by the red eyed duck.

Green Duck: How stupid do you think we are?

Greasy: (pause) I don't know. How stupid are you?

Green Duck: Well, no one tells us how we're stupid! We know how stupid we are and...(realizes) NOW STOP THAT!

Greasy: Oh crap.

Just then, he noticed a 3-headed Mankey Pokemon detaching itself from the trees behind the ducks, gasping in shock.

Red Duck: And stop with that jaw drop. It's not working.

Greasy: Um, amigos, look behind you! (pointing) A REAL 3 Headed Mankey!

Green Duck: Ha! We're not going to fall for that trick again!

It ate the banana, sharing it mouth to mouth before throwing hte skin away, repeating itself.

Red Duck: I guess we'll eat you now.

Greasy: Ahhh!

Green Duck: (ponders) Unless...(glares) If you had some sort of offering for us, something we could pass on to the Great Mankey, we might be persuaded to let you leave here uncooked. (pauses) Well?

Greasy: Let's see...

He dug in his pants, taking out some items.

Greasy: (shows the lens) Lens?

Purple Duck: I don't think the Great Mankey would want that.

Greasy: (shows the flint) How about this?

Red Duck: Come on, you can do better than that.

Greasy: (shows the mints) How about a mint?

Green Duck: Thanks, but we already have some of our own.

He showed the staple remover, making the ducks shake their heads.

Red Duck: Now what would the Great Mankey do with that?

Purple Duck: Uh, staple stuff?

Red Duck: It doesn't got any hands!

Greasy: Augh, I give up!

Red Duck: Obviously, you have nothing for us. We might eat you, we might let you go. We'll have to talk about it with the village nutritionist. Come. (grabs him) Let me show you our guest hut.

Greasy: Oh crap!

The door to the hut opened before Greasy was tossed inside. The door slammed shut with the two spears barring the door.

Red Duck: That should do it.

Purple Duck: But what if he gets out?

Green Duck: Oh relax! How would that weasel get out? By doing so under our noses?

With that, the duck trio left.

Greasy: (frowns) Well that's just great! Now I'm stuck. How do I get out now?

He looked at the huge yellow object with white hands nestled under the window.

Greasy: The banana picker!

He picked it up, noticing the note chiselled into the handle.

Greasy: (reading) "If found, please return to Madam Foster." Well at least I found the picker.

He glanced around, noticing a bowl of bones nearby, picking up the piece of paper attached.

Greasy: "To the Ghost Pirate Warren: We must protest your 'acquisition' of our voodoo antiroot. We realize that it represents a hazzard to you and your crew, but this is thievery! The Mankey Island Cannibals." Couldn't they just call themselves "Duck Brothers" and get it over with? Still got the root I need.

He put the items up before picking up the skull.

Greasy: nope, nothing.

Just then, he noticed something about the board it rested on. He gave it an experimental push, noticing it loose.

Greasy: Hmmm...

He picked up the board, revealing a surprisingly well lit hole, leading to a tunnel beneath the hut.

Greasy: Si! Time to make my escape.

He grunted, trying to fit the picker in the hole.

Greasy: (frowns) Well may as well wait for another day for it.

He tossed it to the ground before going inside the hole. Inside the tunnel, he crawled carefully before coming to the end of the trapdoorwhich, when Greasy heaved it open, resided in one of hte empty huts on the other side of the village. As he slowly made his way to the fence quietly, he listened to the Duck Brothers arguing in one of the huts while noticing the three glaring.

Red Duck: ... and no, I'm not getting squeamish, I'd love to eat the guy!

Green Duck: So let's do it!

Purple Duck: But think of your arteries!

He almost neared at the gate, hidden from the view by the huts.

Green Duck: (glares) We are cannibals, for crying out loud!

Purple Duck: Yeah, but cannibals have to watch their saturated fats just like everyone else.

Red Duck: (groans) If I have to eat any more fruit, my head's going to turn into one big citrus like one of the masks we carry! (to the purple duck) No offence, brother.

He slipped around the gate, trotting quickly down the path.

Greasy: (wipes his brow) Phew, that was too close.

He looked at the bananas from before.

Greasy: Good, they didn't take the banana. Back to the boat.

Later, back at the south beach, Greasy looked at the three bananas he held.

Greasy: Hmm...need two more...maybe if I use the catapault...

He hurried to the mountain path. At the catapault from earlier, Greasy moved the seesaw a bit, grunting a bit before positioning it.

Greasy: Aaand there...

He climbed up to the plateau once more, putting another rock where the previous one was before pointing his finger upward.

Greasy: (nods) Mmm-hmmm...just right.

He shoved the rock off the edge, causing the seesaw device to do the same thing again, though the new rock headed to a banana tree on the beach, crashing on it.

Greasy: Perfect.

He noticed another note, taking it.

Greasy: "Miss Foster: Remove this dangerous object at once. My brother knocked a rock onto it and almost hurt someone who was making a swing on the south beach near the banana tree. The Duck Brothers." Well I know what is NOT gonna happen.

Quickly, Greasy rushed back to the beach, arriving to find some bananas on the sand, taking them.

Greasy: And now to find the Mankey.

Snatching them, he rushed and arrived to the area with Mankey before, waving one of the bananas around.

Greasy: Here apie. Here Mankey.

He whistled a bit before he noticed the Pokemon swinging and hanging around. Then, it gasped as it noticed the banana, jumping nearby.

Mankey: Mankey!

Greasy: (tosses it) Here you go.

It ate the entire banana with skin before looking at him.

Greasy: No problemo, I got more.

He showed more bananas with Mankey quickly snatching the items, eating each one.

Greasy: Heh, nice Mankey...when you're not in temper problems.

When the Pokemon finished, he noticed it glowing before backing away. After a few moments, he saw the now evolved Pokemon with vein mark, bigger body, brown arms, and boxing gloves named Primeape standing proudly.

Primeape: PRIIIIMEAPE!!

Greasy: Caramba! A Primeape! I did NOT expect him to evolve that quickly.

Primeape: (points to him) Pri primeape.

Greasy: Was that a thanks?

Primeape: Ape.

Greasy: Oh okay then.

Primeape: Primeape pri.

Greasy: Que? You wanna come with?

Primeape: (nods) Ape.

Greasy: All right, just follow me and don't get lost.

The two departed with the Primeape following. The two went through the jungle, crossing the bridge, and arrived to the Mankey Head area, both arriving to a familiar fence carefully.

Greasy: Hmmm...

He reached up, pulling the nose once more before it opened. He stopped with it closing.

Primeape: (eagerly) Pri primeape!!

Quickly, it jumped up to the nose, pulling hard before it opened once more.

Greasy: Perfect. (grins) I knew having you was a good idea.

He went up the Mankey head before turning back.

Greasy: Hold this, and I'll give you a whole barrel-load of bananas.

Primeape: (glares) Ape?

Greasy: (widens his arms) A truckload of bananas!

Primeape: (delighted) PRIMEAPE!!

With that, Greasy headed up. When he arrived to the area, he noticed the peculiar idol carvings on the ground, each of them different.

Greasy: Okay, let's see...a green thing with red eyes...some other carving of things with arms and legs...two weasels with the violet one on top of the insane one with sharp teeth and a big grin. Dang.

He finally noticed a small whimpy idol as high as his hand which was submerged in the ground, taking it.

Greasy: (glares) What a cheap piece of mass produced tourist crap. And it's made by...

He flipped the bottom, looking at the name.

Greasy: "Duck Brother Purple"? (frowns) That would explain much.

He placed it in his pocket.

Greasy: Still, you can never tell with stuff like this.

He departed from the area, passing by Primeape, though it didn't notice Greasy as it kept pulling. Some time later, back at the village, the familiar weasel arrived back to the village, looking around for a moment.

Greasy; Heh, no sign of those el stupido ducks anywhere.

At that moment, three familiar ducks came behind him as he turned.

Red Duck: (glares) Well well. The banana thief returns to the scene of the crime.

Green Duck: Maybe we should just eat him right now.

Purple Duck: Do you have any idea how much cholesterol is in one of these things?!

Green Duck: (glares) Hey, you're the one who keeps laying eggs!

Purple Duck: Stop badmouthing my eggs!

Red Duck: (rolls eyes) Anyway, weasel, now then, how did you break out of our hut and why did you come back?

Greasy: Wait uno momento, ducks, before you plan to eat me, I will be giving you something if you let me go.

Red Duck: Anything? (sighs) All right. We'll give you one more chance to trade something of yours for your freedom.

Greasy finally showed the idol from before to them. The lead duck took it, glancing at it.

Green Duck: (grins) Hey, wow! This is impressive! (to the purple duck) Brother! Take a look at this!

The purple eyed duck looked at the idol with his brother before grinning.

Purple Duck: Oooh, that's nice. Simple. Just like one of mine. And little. Like mine. And it says "Made by Duck Brother Purple" just like one of mine! We should take this to the Great Mankey!

Red Duck: (nods) Yes, I agree. (to Greasy) We are very grateful to you for this fine gift. If there's ever anything you need on Mankey Island, just come see us.

Finally, the ducks departd.

Greasy: Finally...

He walked up to the guest hut that was propped opened, looking around and tiptoeingly headed to the door. He slid smoothly around the frame, dropping into the hut.

Greasy: Perfect. The picker's still here. NOW I can take it.

He snatched the device, quickly starting to depart from the village as quickly as he could. Before he could do so, he saw a familiar figure arriving to the village, muttering in anger.

Foster: (bitterly) All I want is my banana picker back. But will they give it to me? They want the Mankey Head key back first! That'll be the day! Don't you think they're being unreasonable? It's not as though I'm asking for a lot.

Greasy: Ahem.

Foster: (glancing) Huh? (spots him) Oh, hi! I was just looking for the natives, to get them to return my banana picker, but I can't seem to find them!

Greasy showed the item to her, grinning.

Greasy: Here you go. I have your banana picker.

She took it with a grin.

Foster: (smiles) Hey, thanks! I thought I'd never see this again! (shows something) Here, you can take this Mankey head key back to the natives.

She showed what appeared to be a white stick of 3 feet long from her with Greasy taking it.

Greasy: Okay, if you say so.

He glanced at it for a moment.

Greasy: And don't worry, I won't use it or anything.

With that, Greasy departed from the old woman hugging the device. As he departed to the jungle, he stopped while pondering.

Greasy: Okay, so far, I know Warren's on this island, but where? Dunno how many spirit pirates were with him and I don't have the voodoo antiroot to battle them and worst, I don't have a ship to get me and Frankie back home. (sighs) I need help and unfortunately, only the Duck Brothers qualify.

When he came back to the village, he noticed Madam Foster gone, but the ducks arriving.

Purple Duck: (smiles) Have you come back to let us repay you for your fine gift?

Greasy: Oh si. Of course.

Purple Duck: Tell us. What is it?

Greasy: (looks guilty) Um...On second thought, you've already done so much...

Green Duck: Well, if there's ever anything you need from us, just let us know.

Greasy: Gracias.

Purple Duck: (starts departing) What a guy.

Greasy: (stops him) Wait. Um, well actually, there is something...

Red Duck: What would that be?

Greasy: I need a ship.

The ducks looked at each other with confusion before turning back to him.

Green Duck: (glances) How did you get here if you don't have a ship?

Greasy: (stutters) Well, this big rock fell out of the sky, and-

Purple Duck: I see. Say no more. Well I'm sorry, but we don't have a ship. Is there anything else we could do for you?

Greasy: Ooookay. I'm looking for somebody.

Red Duck: Here? On Mankey Island?!

Green Duck: We're the only people living on Mankey Island.

Purple Duck: Well, the only civilized people.

Greasy: Okay. I'm looking for thirty dead guys and one woman. One of them a pussycat.

Purple Duck: (frightened) AHHH! I don't think I want to hear anything more about it!

Greasy: I haven't gotten to the scary part yet!

Green Duck: Wait. He's right, maybe he's talking about those dead pirates.

Purple Duck: Oh yeah, those guys. I get so nervous I...

Just then, an egg plopped down, much to Greasy's notice and disgust.

Greasy: AGH!

Green Duck: (glares) I told you to stop doing that.

Purple Duck: I can't help it. I got nervous.

Greasy: Then you've seen the Ghost Pirate Warren T. Cat and his cadaverous crew?

Red Duck: (glares) Those jerks have been bugging us for months!

Purple Duck: Zooming around in that ghost ship of theirs...wailing and moaning until all hours of the morning-

Green Duck: -scaring away all the cruise ship business!

Purple Duck: Normally when we have problems with the undead, we just cook up our standard potion of exorcism and be done with it.

Greasy: So why don't you do that now?

Red Duck: Well, the main ingredient of the potion is a very rare root...in fact, there's only one in existence.

Green Duck: We only use a bit at a time, you see.

Red Duck: But Warren stole the whole thing!

Greasy: (snaps) Warren came in here and stole your root?! What a cad!

Purple Duck: (frowns) Oh, and I suppose stealing bananas is any better?

Greasy: Touche, Daffy.

Ducks: Who?

Greasy: So where IS that el gato pussycat hiding it?

Red Duck: He's in a place beneath this island, somewhere in a huge system of catacombs. A hellish place filled with the wailings of tortured souls trapped forever in the rock, where the walls bleed and the air is thick with the rancid smell of pure evil.

Green Duck: Tourists used to line up for hours to see it.

Greasy: (to himself) I like the sound of the place, even if it was the kind of outfit that would get closed down by a halfway vigilant Health Department. (to the ducks) And then Warren came and ruined everything, right?

Red Duck: No, we lost the key.

Green Duck: (glares) It was stolen!

Purple Duck: Well, we loaned it to a hermit who lives on the other side of the island.

Red Duck: And until that crusty old woman in hula skirt brings it back, we're keeping her banana picker.

Greasy: Ah, I see. I'm off to find him and get the root.

Purple Duck: Sorry, but it's just not that easy. Trying to find that cat with that belly could be very dangerous.

Red Duck: You'll never find your way through the catacombs without the-

Green Duck: Hey! Ixnay on the eadhay of the avigatornay!

Greasy: The what?

Green Duck: (sweatdrops) Nothing.

Red Duck: Nothing.

Greasy: Why are you guys talking in Pig Latin?

Purple Duck: I see he is baffled by our native dialect. Good.

Greasy: OOookay, let me try. Ahem. Oday ouyay avehay away apmay ofway ethay atacombscay?

Green Duck: (shakes his head) Orrsay. Onay.

Red DucK: We could at least tell him what the head does.

Purple Duck: Well, it's a navigating tool-

Green Duck: -It's a head. It was once attached to a navigator.

Red Duck: We've kept it alive magically so we could take advantage of its innate sense of direction. Getting through the catacombs without it is impossible.

Greasy: Ick. How can the head be useful?

Red Duck: Simple. Just follow its nose!

Greasy: Fruit Loops reference.

Green Duck: But it's our only one, so you can't have it.

Purple Duck: Awww. I guess we have nothing to offer you.

Green Duck: And after he gave us that nice idol, too.

Red Duck: Feel free to come to the Great Mankey and visit your idol anytime. (to the purple duck) So brother, what was that you were saying about tropical oils?

Greasy: Maybe the pamphlets would help...let's see if it's still in there.

He removed the shirt, shaking it a bit before the pamphlets from before dropped. He dug a bit as he read each title.

Greasy: Let's see...which one would Duckula's pamphlet work on? "How To Get A Leg Up In Treasure Hunting"? No. "How To Arm Yourself In Sea Battle"? No.

He picked the last one up.

Greasy: Here it is: "How To Get Ahead In Navigating." Useless to me...(grins) but maybe useful to them.

Green Duck: (notices) Hey, whatcha have on your hand?

He showed the leaflet to the trio with the ducks looking inside it.

Green Duck: Well, look at this! It looks like instructions on how to get a head!

Purple Duck: We could give him our head, and use these instructions to get ourselves a new one!

Red Duck: (looks at Greasy) Yes, I suppose we can give you this now.

He showed what appeared to be a skull with jewels for eyes and a number 9, tossing it to Greasy, whom looked at it.

Greasy: Gracias, I think.

Red Duck: Looks pretty good for a wishing skull, doesn't it?

Greasy: Why is it called that?

Red Duck: It is cursed. Any wishes made on him will backfire.

Purple Duck: It's like a Monkey's Paw type deal, only more creepier. And he rhymes too.

Greasy: Oh gross! So saying if I wanted to wish for this particular person...

Green Duck: If she's dead, then she may come back wrong. I once wished I wouldn't molt during one summer, but then I lost all my feathers for a week. (frowns) Trust me, you do NOT want to make wishes on THAT skull.

Greasy: Fair enough, I will give him to an amigo who would be stupid enough to do so.

Purple Duck: (points to the string) We keep it wrapped in this magical necklace that keeps it invisible to ghosts.

They noticed the skull glancing around before starting to speak.

Skull: I am Thromnambular the skull of wishes, I can make things easier like doing the dishes.

Greasy: You weren't kidding when you said he rhymes.

Green Duck: It can't rhyme with the word 'orange'.

Purple Duck: Hence why he usually either avoids using it or use the word twice on his rhyme.

Thromnambular: So you are Greasy, that I see, I do believe we make quite a team. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Purple Duck: Oh look, I think he likes you. Just follow his jewel eyes, and he'll lead you to Warren's hideout in the catacombs. Then get the root from Warren and come back here, and we'll mix up a batch of our special, enzymatic ghost-dissolving solution.

Green Duck: And you can pour it on Warren like salt on a slug!

Greasy: Si!

He held Thromnambular's head carefully, almost letting it go.

Greasy: Whoa!

Red Duck: Good luck, you'll need it.

They began leaving the shirtless weasel.

Greasy: Well, time to find that cat.

Finally, he with the skull left the area.

(End of Chapter 13)