NAP Presents: The Sora Clause 1

Chapter 1: (Dinner Disaster)

Inside Sora's place, as the kids entered while Kairi motioned the older ones after noticing Batula arriving, Sora removed his coat with Kairi placing Danny's things down.

Sora: So...

Kairi: Well...ahem.

As the kids and older ones looked at the tree, they looked back at Sora and Kairi.

Sora: You going to your mom's for dinner?

Kairi: Actually, we're gonna be with Edward's family.

Sora: Ah! Christmas at the pound. Howl! Ruff! Bark! He-he.

Psycho: (pauses) And you got adopted by these two when you were younger WHY, Danny?

Sora; I always knew Edward's family is a bunch of...

Kairi: Language! It's Christmas!

Sora:....I was going to sound monguls.

Nic: Or kitty cats in your opinion.

Sora: (hissing) Meow.

Nack tossed a gift down.

Nack: Figures there's nothing good in the boxes.

Danny: He's right. There aren't that many presents over there.

Sora: That's because Santa isn't here yet.

Danny: Ed doesn't believe in Santa.

Sora: Well, Ed and possibly Al's heads come to a point.

Just then, Kairi heard car honking.

Batula: Ve know Edward is smart, Sora.

Bark: Yes. He's a doctor.

Sora: He's not a doctor, he's a psychiatrist.

Dingo: (grins) You mean a P-sy-chiatrist.

Sora: (to Danny) Take your coat off. You're sticking around, aren't ya?

Outside, Ed kept honking the horn to the car. Kairi peeked out as she glanced.

Kairi: I'll be right there. Just a sec.

Ed made a "we're running late" motion on his wrist before Kairi came in with Sora closing the door.

Kairi: I just want to-

Sora: Did that jerk tell Danny and the kids there was no Santa Claus?

Kairi: What? No. (shakes her head) Oh, Danny came home from school the other day in tears because some big kid told him there was no such thing as Santa.

Sora: Well, that kid is a jerk. I mean, what, his grown ups spoiled him rotten?

Kairi: (holds her arm) Probably. And, you know the Elrics. Well, Ed's brother sat him down and...

Sora: And told him there was a Santa Claus.

Kairi: (rubs her head) Well, all he said was that Santa was more like a feeling. You know, more like a state of mind than a person.

Sora: Kind of like Ed. And who gave you permission to tell these guys there's no Santa Claus? I think if we're going to destroy our son's illusions, I should be a part of it.

Kairi: (bitterly) Yeah, but you're never around, are you, Sora?

Sora: Oh sure, bring that up. You know why.

Kairi: Sora, face it. If this keeps up, Danny may not want to be around you anymore. Heck, he still won't accept Edward Elric as a father figure since you are never around.

Sora: (scoffs) Only if some ice guy take over Christmas, maybe.

Kairi: And you're always neglectful to everything not work related!

Sora: (rolls eyes) Oh, please.

As they continued, the kids glanced at the rotary item with Bean spinning it a bit.

Kairi: Listen, all we are trying to do is give these kids a firm grasp on reality.

Sora: (nods) That's a good idea. You don't want kids running around using their imaginations.

Kairi: Oh, yeah. That's from the guy responsible for the Do-It-All-For-You-Dolly.

Sora: (frowns) Leave her out of this.

Danny, however, frowned a bit.

Kairi: (singing) "Don't you burp me
Don't you change me, I'm the dolly..."

Danny: Why do you guys always have to fight?

They looked, noticing Danny's group glancing.

Sora: We're not fighting. It's your mom singing. It sounds a lot like fighting, doesn't it? Cats, even. Yeowl!

Psycho: (annoyed) Don't mock Blaze.

Bean: Oh come on. I know the truth, Danny!

Danny: (confused) You do?

Bean: Yeah. The trouble is, Ed and your mom, they don't believe in Santa because they were real naughty. Which is why they'll probably get lumps of coal in their stockings.

Nack: Yeah, and besides, Santa existed. Why, years ago, he became an immortal and...

Kairi: (interrupts) Nack, that story isn't real. You shouldn't be telling folks that.

Danny: I don't know. It seems kind of babyish to believe in that kind of stuff. ESPECIALLY coming from a guy like you.

Sleet: (glances) Danny has a point, Bean. Whenever you talk about stuff like this, it makes it hard to believe anyone.

Sora: (to himself) That and that's my line anyway, Bean.

Psycho: Ooooh, I betcha Santa teams up with the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and the Sandman to fight evil guys like the Boogieman!

Kairi: (pause) Okay, what story were you reading? Because I"m pretty sure that didn't happen.

Psycho: Hey, some kids like me got an imagination, Mrs. SHORTY!

She groaned.

Sora: And what are you talking about? I believe in Santa Claus. I'm not a baby.

Kairi: Well...

Sora: (to Kairi) Maybe it's time you left.

Bean: Yeah. We don't want to keep Dr. Shorty waiting. He-he-he-he.

Edward's Voice: I AM NOT SHORTY!

Everyone else looks around in confusion.

Dingo: How does he do that?

Sora sighed, heading to the kitchen to snatch a book while Kairi came to Danny.

Kairi: Come here.

The two hugged a bit.

Danny: (frowns) Do I gotta stay? Why couldn't we stay at Nack's grandpa's place?

Batula: (sighs) He's still undergoing ze planned surgery.

Bark: He's trying to upgrade the parts he and his wife has with the money he saved up ever since their part roboticization.

Nack: (nods) Yeah, and reminding me of that's too depressing.

Kairi: (glances at Sora) Listen, Danny, you and your daddy are gonna have a great Christmas, okay?

Danny: Will you pick me up tomorrow?

Kairi: (nods) Of course.

Darry: Early?

Kairi: Yes.

Bean: We're talking sunup, you're here?

She chuckled a bit.

Kairi: You'll be fine.

She kissed the boy's forehead and patted the younger ones.

Kairi: So will your friends. Merry Christmas, Danny. (hugs him) Love you.

Danny: I love you, too, Mom.

He sat on the stairs.

Kairi: You be a good boy, okay?

She hugged and kissed him again.

Kairi: (to the older ones) Make sure they get some sleep, okay?

Batula: (bows) You have our trust.

Danny: (waves) Bye, Mom.

Finally, the woman left the building. Sora, looking at his cook book, then looked at his watch.

Sora: Four hours?

As a song was heard playing, Sora and the others glanced at one another.

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas

On the TV, it showed a family dinner with big turkey, making Dingo drool.

Announcer: Your Christmas will be perfect with its own built-in turkey timer.

Just like the ones I use to know

Where those treetops glisten

Other Announcer: And now, we return you to the most cherished of Christmas stories, Miracle on 34th Street, starring...

And the children listen

As Dingo and the dumb ones kept watching, fire extinguisher noises were heard.

To hear sleigh bells in the snow

The others, hearing the blowing, looked inside as they saw Sora, Batula, Bark, and Sleet trying to use it on the oven.

Nic: (groans) For crying out loud.

Sora: Ah.

The smoke was blown away a bit.

Sora: Yeah...(nervously) He-he-he...

He looked back at Danny's group.

Sora: That is exactly why you want a high-quality fire extinguisher right in the kitchen.

Danny: Those flames were really big, Dad.

Bean: Well, turkey's funny that way.

Bark: Would've burned less if you didn't use lighter fluid on it.

Bean: But that's how I get the meat to cook faster!

Just then, the flames lit up.

Danny: (yelps) Dad!

They turned, yelping as most looked horrified.

Bean: Hey, it's about ready now.

Psycho: Let's cut that turkey up!

Batula: Gah! Not vith it in flames!!

Quickly, they used the extinguisher, putting the fires out. After a couple of shots, the rest was used in the entire oven.

Sora: Okay, NOW it's done!

Bean: Goodie! I call leg!

Nack: (sweatdrop) Let's...go out.

Later, the car with group arrived to a building nearby before the brakes squealed.

Sora: You like osso buco, Danny?

The boy and his friends glared at him.

Sora: Forgot: They're closed.

They continued onward.

Danny: You know, Edward's brother is a real good cook.

Sora: (dryly) Yeah, and you should see him walk on water.

Danny: You don't like the Elrics very much, do you, Dad?

Sora: Danny, yeah. I was joking, okay? I'm sorry. I was just kidding around. I like him a lot...Yeah, sure, I like him. You know, there...There's just something about him that makes me wanna...

Bark: Lash out irrationally.

Sora: What? Where did you hear that?

Danny: We heard it from the Elrics. I learn a lot from them. THEY listen to me.

Sora: Yeah. Then he charges you for it.

The gang groaned a bit as the familiar song played with them arriving to Denny's.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

They stopped with Sora fist pumping.

Sora: All right. Denny's. It's always open.

He began heading out with the depressed Danny frowning.

Danny: I don't wanna eat here.

Sora: (looks back) What're you talking about? Everybody likes Denny's. It's an American institution.

Bark: Besides, would you rather eat at a Chinese restaurant where they chop a bird's head?

Kids: (bitterly) No.

Bean: AHHH! Oh crap, no!!

Bark: Then get out, now!!

Inside, at a table, an Asian was speaking Chinese while the Asians cheered a bit. As the Asians in the restaurant chatted, the waitress placing their food down came up to the Freelancers and friends.

Waitress: Are you with Miyazaki?

Sora: No.

Danny: Dad burned the turkey.

Bean: And they threw it away before I could take it. (annoyed) Good going, stupid.

Waitress: (winces) Oh, yeah. This way. Come on.

She motioned them to follow as they passed the Asians talking. Inside a quieter area, the woman pointed to a big table.

Waitress: Right over there.

Sora: (nods) Thank you.

The group sat down while nearby, a father with daughters nodded to Sora before the male sat down. The menus were given with Sora looking at fathers with kids.

Waitress: Here we go.

Sora: (looks at a dad) Burn the turkey?

The man, with bandage on arm, nodded with a meek smile before Sora winced.

Bean: I KNEW we should've brought Bowser. He'd completely burn it to perfection.

Bark: You know Bowser hates you, Bean.

Bean: (pauses) So what's your point?

Waitress: Coffee?

Sora: (looks at nametag) No, thank you, Marcie. He-he. What do you say we start out with cold glasses of delicious seasonal favorite eggnog?

He pointed to the cover a bit.

Danny: (frowns) I don't like eggnog.

Psycho: What's wrong with eggnog? Nack drinks it and it's the close that we can get to beer!

Marcie: We're out, sir.

Sora: Coffee. Decaf.

Marcie: (nods) Mmm-hmm.

Psycho: I'll have chocolate milk, please.

Marcie: We're out, sir.

Danny: (frowns) Plain milk's fine.

Marcie: We only have coffee and water, sir. Everything else is all out.

She left the group while fixing her glasses.

Sora: (to the group) At least we know they got hot apple pie.

Marcie: We did.

Sora: (nods) Mmm-hmm.

Danny glared at Sora trying to continue to smile before he shrugged.

Sora: This is nice.

Nack: Well what DO you have to eat?

Marcie: Coffee, water, and oatmeal.

Psycho: And THIS is why Denny's is failing.

Nack: Which goes the same for Godfather's Pizza. Does anyone remember that place?

Later, back at the house, Sora was reading the Night Before Christmas to the gang.

Sora: (reading) "And Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash.
With a miniature sleigh and St. Nick..."

He looked at most of them asleep before mumbling and turning the page while looking at the sleeping ones.

Sora: (mutters) "And Prancer and Dancer...(turns to the last page) and to all a good night."

Finally, the male grinned, getting up, began leaving the room and turning off the lights while Bean, still awake, looked curious.

Bean: What's that?

Sora: What's what?

Bean: "A Rose Suchak ladder"?

Sora: (frowns) It's not a ladder. I said, "Arose such a clatter." It means, "Came a big noise."

Bean: Huh?

Danny: (peeks) What?

He groaned, turning on the lights and entering.

Sora: Bean, Danny, "arose" is a word that means "it came," and "clatter" is a big noise. Now please, go to sleep. Shut your eyes.

The male sighed, taking the book and preparing to read again.

Nic: (peeks with her eye) How do reindeer fly? They don't have any wings.

Sora: Fairy dust.

Sleet: (frowns) That's from Peter Pan, bub.

Sora: (points to the book) Horns.

Some: Antlers.

Sora: Whatever. Their antlers give them...(motions) You know, there's a slipstream effect. The air goes...They move...They're weightless.

Danny: But if Santa's so fat, how did he get down the chimneys?

Sora: He sucks it in like Grandpa.

Bean: What about people who don't have fireplaces? Like me for example?

Nack: Yeah! How does he get into their house?

Sora: Everyone, please, sometimes believing in something means you...(pauses) Means you just believe in it. Santa uses reindeer to fly because that's how he has to get around.

Danny: But you do believe in Santa, right, Dad?

Sora: (pause) Yeah, I do.

Psycho: You hestiated there. Should we know something?

Sora: What? (scoffs) Of course I believe in Santa. Now please, go to sleep.

They sighed, closing their eyes with Sora turning off the lights.

Batula: (peeks) Everything okay?

Sora: Yeah, I-

Danny: (looks at them) Dad?

Sora: (looks back) What is it, Danny?

Danny: Maybe you better leave some cookies and milk out, just in case, okay?

Sora: Great. I'll just go preheat the oven.

Batula: Um, I'll come vith you. You know, just in case.

The two departed.

Psycho: And don't forget the fire extinguisher.

Sora: Good night, kids.

The kids sighed before finally closing their eyes.

(End of Chapter 1)