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Literature Text
(Act 4)
Back at Valchir's, Tron smirked with a chuckle as she pointed to the Freelancers.
Tron: (to Valchir) ...and they got fired. Some crazy old guy stiffed him for a $30 cab ride, and instead of calling the cops, Bobo here knocked down the meter.
Dingo: But my name's Dingo!
Tron then showed Rudolph to him.
Tron: But at least we keep this cute reindeer as payment.
Psycho: His nose blinks too.
Nack: And he got a shining nose.
Dumb Ones: Like a light bulb!
At that moment, as Mr. Bump was helping Bowser pull something, the koopa kid sniffed the air a bit.
Bowser Jr.: Mmmm, smells meaty.
Tron: (gasps) No way! (takes some food) Are those bacon cheeseburgers?!
Nack: Come on, Valchie, it ain't like Glomgold's cab company can't afford to give somebody a free ride every now and then.
They pulled the cord nearby a bit.
Coco: Co co!!
Eduardo: And besides, Senor Rhino, it's Christmastime. Feliz Navidad!
Hiram: He's got a point. It's a time for giving.
Wilt: (nods) Yeah, and for peace and harmony.
Bloo: But mostly...it's about the presents.
Bowser: (struggling) What the crap did you even talk to me to do this for?! That jerk hates me!!
Mr. Bump: (grunting) Because, we need his Christmas cord and have HIM celebrate Christmas while we celebrate Decemberween!!
Just then, part of the wall broke.
Valchir: MY DECORATIONS!!
Batula: (gulps) Uh oh.
Nic: It's a time for chestnuts opening on a roasted fire.
More of the cord was pulled off.
Sleet: Um...(sweatdrops) A time for sleigh bells tinkling in the snow.
Mr. Bump: (pulling) Ungh, too stuck.
Dingo: Damn, rhino, that puppy's really stuck. Know what I mean?
More of the cord was pulled, ruining the wall, which led to one of the lights on the wall.
Mr. Bump: You know, Val, it looks like a transmutation of your 110 and your 220. Know what I mean?
Sleet: (pauses) Hey, Dingo, Bump? Mind finishing this off for us.
The smart ones dropped the cord as the dumb ones kept a hold on.
Mr. Bump; No problem!
Bowser Jr.: (to himself) 5, 4, 3...
Just then, the item in question was pulled off with everything flashing and Valchir's anguish screams heard. Meanwhile, at the police station, the robots with the number wear frowned as they watched Ansem getting his picture taken with a sign that had numbers held on his hand at both his front and side.
Grounder: He's taking too long.
Scratch: (scoffs) We've been through worse when we first got arrested.
Later, Ansem was getting his fingerprints marked.
Ansem: (to Jenny) I arrived here just today. I had a simple job to do, and then everything started to get unraveled. First, I lost my sack, and now this.
Coconuts: Oh we've been there. We get framed pretty much a lot around here. Besides, what do you expect from a city full of criminals and bad guys anyway?
Ansem: (sighs) If you'd only take a moment and just try to understand...
Older Officer: (leading him) Come on, pops, you guys and me got some paperwork to do.
Ansem: You're making a very big mistake.
Grounder: Yeah, Wes framed us!
Officer Jenny: Look, it's either this or the insane asylum and the place is filled up.
Coconuts: But it's the truth this time, dammit!!
Older Officer: Yeah, yeah. That's what the fat woozle and his foxy girlfriend said before the hedgehog was kicking his butt.
As they were dragged away, Jenny took the paper, then looked confused.
Officer Jenny: (to a different officer) Hey, look at this.
The two looked at the fingerprints with the prints each having a different snowflake-like print on each one.
Officer Jenny: I never saw anything like this before.
Officer: (shrugs) He must be wearing invisible gloves or something.
Officer Jenny: (dryly) Invisible gloves? Really?
Meanwhile, at a studio, Sora along with two children actors named Charlie Brown & Sally were looking through the script as each one spoke with the producer, director, and writer each named Miss Naughty, Mr. Director, & Bamm-Bamm Rubble nearby watching.
Sally: "I'm frightened. "
Sora: "Don't worry. It's only thunder. We'll all be safe here...together. "
The kids watching smiled as did the producer, whom removed the camera. As he continued, the con weasel looked at the scenery with a cruel grin.
Sora: (chuckles) Oh, great. You kids are terrific actors. You really are. I want to thank you because you helped me a lot. I was a little nervous.
Miss Naughty: (to the director) He's a natural with the kids. He's already got them both saying "please" and "thank you."
Bamm-Bamm: You're the director, Mr. Director, but personally, I think there's chemistry here.
Mr. Director: (nods/serious tone) Chemistry is very important.
Miss Naughty: Perhaps we should look into getting a few props from Mr. Plotz, especially the (winks) mistletoe.
(Present)
Miss Naughty: (glares) Hey, that's not how I-
Grounder: SHHHH! We're trying to tell a story here!!
Miss Naughty: (snaps) You weren't even memory protected, you dolt!
Grounder: (confused) I wasn't?
(Past)
Later, down the hall, Wes grinned to the exhausted Sora.
Sora: Phew. I feel exhausted.
Wes: Relax, buddy. It will be worth it in the end.
He slapped the back.
Wes: And besides...(smirks) Chemistry. You've got it, they want it.
Sora: (grins) Really?
Wes: (chuckles) Yeah, yeah. They want to shoot some tests tomorrow, but don't worry about that.
Sora: Great! (pauses) By the way, what happened to the old guy and the robots?
Wes: Forget about them. You've got a new career about to fire up.
Sora: Good. Good, but did he ever find his sack or whatever it was?
Wes: (not listening) Yeah, yeah. Taken care of.
As he patted Sora's back, no one noticed Wes crossing his fingers behind his back. Back at Valchir's, the chandelier was lifted up and down with Rudolph pulling the cord to the almost ruined house Mr. Bump and the weaker ones were struggling.
Dingo: I know what we need, Val: Bolt cutters!
He let go, darting out just as it caused the dumb ones to scream, then fling out and around with the chandelier smashed to the table with food.
Valchir: (sobs) Why me? Why me?
Argit: (passing by) Grow up, jerk.
Outside, Dingo went to the Marvelous Queen with Rudolph following before opening the trunk. Then, as he heard jingling while taking out bolt cutters, he glanced at the familiar sack nearby, clapping it a bit before looking back and trying to listen to the jingle.
Dingo: Yipes! Jingling noises!
The deer hopped up, looking at the bag with Mac and most exiting the building. The deer pointed with worry.
Dingo: Huh? Why look at the pretty sack? (pauses) Although...
Sleet: Dingooooo? What are you up to?
Dingo: Well since it's finders keepers and such, it wouldn't hurt to look in the bright sack, wouldn't it?
Psycho: For once, Dingo has a logical point.
After looking back, the gang looked inside the sack, then they heard children voices giggling as they looked at the brightness inside.
Nack: What the crap?
Batula: (shocked) Zat means...
Most: (realizes) He's him.
Psycho: Yee...him who?
Later, out in the night streets, Tron frowned as did the non believers.
Tron: There's no such thing. Think about it; a guy who flies around the whole world in one night. It just doesn't quite correspond with the laws of time and travel.
Nack: Well, it could be he got magic that allows him to do so on one night...
Psycho: Yeah! As if he became the Chosen One to...
Sleet: (scoffs) Only in some alternative universe!
(Present)
Nack: See, guys? Bits of the first timeline got in there.
Courage: (face palms) Ooooh!
(Past)
Mac: They have a point...it IS possible.
Eduardo: It is true!
Nack: Yeah. Take the international date line, multiply it by the time zones, divide it by the accelerated rotation of the Earth. Now, carry the one. Allowing for the vernal equinox on the Tropic of Cancer, he might just pull it off.
Bloo: NEEEEEERD!!!
Nack: Watch it, Blue!
Psycho: (points) Besides, Nack, I stopped paying attention halfway through that sentence.
Tron: (frustrated) All right, all right. Let's just say this guy really is Santa Claus, okay? Why is he riding around in airplanes and taxicabs?
Bowser Jr.: She's right. Where's his sleigh?
Mr. Bump: Where are his reindeer? We only got one of the 7 with us.
Most: 8.
Mr. Bump: Really? Then whose the 8th one?
Back at the crate area, the eight reindeer were chomping while snorting around the grassy spilling. As that was happening, Muscle Man peeked behind an empty box, slowly with Hi-Fives following, going closer before stopping.
Muscle Man: (points) You know what I think that is?
The deer began jumping a bit with some snorting.
Muscle Man: I think those are Latvian goats.
He paused before shaking it off.
Muscle Man: Wait a minute. (glances) It...It could be aliens.
Just then, one of the reindeer jumped, making the two yelp before they saw the first deer waling on the ceiling. Then, they yelped as another one did the same. Back at the museum, the door was kicked with Mr. Bump shouting.
Mr. Bump: Hello? Is anybody in there? (kicks the door) If you can't, I'll kick louder!!
Batula: (grabs him) Bump, no!!
Psycho: (muffles through the glass) Santa, are you in there?
Nack: (shows the sack) The gang and I've got your sack. It's safe.
Tron: (frowns) I told you, they're all gone.
Dingo: (yelps) AHHHH!! (points) Spider!!
Most face faulted a bit.
Argit: Okay, stupid question: (crosses his arms) What is this about, anyway?
Nack: (sighs) I don't know. (ponders) Well, I think I know, but...(motions) Come over here a second. I wanna show you guys something.
Bloo: (dryly) Oh that's rich.
They went to the sack with Rudolph and Batula becoming concerned.
Batula: Nack, I don't think-
Warren: (interrupts) Well what the crap is in that crappy sack anyway? (shows the candy) Here Bump, have some candy.
Mr. Bump: Thanks!
Mr. Bump bites into it, yelping as we hear teeth breaking.
Mr. Bump: Ouch. Broke my false teeth!
Bowser: (face palms) For the love of crap! This is the 20th time this week! (quickly) And not just because I had a hand on the part the first 2 times.
The sack was placed down.
Psycho: Here, we want to show you something. Watch this.
The sack was opened up as the giggling in the sack was heard.
Mr. Bump: (panics) AHHH! Ghosts!!
Miss Calamity: Oh dear! (worried) He had kids in the sack?
Nic: What? Hell no! It's not kids at all.
They looked inside as they saw what was glowing with Tron smiling.
Tron: (amazed) Whoa, groovy Tuesday!
Psycho: (proudly) I am going to slowly and carefully...reach into this glowing bag...and see if my finely honed instincts...are correct.
Nack: From nothing, he produces this...
However, his hand was pulled away.
Wilt: (worried) No, no. Don't do it. I mean, sorry, you don't know what's in that bag.
Eduardo: But Wilt, it's what we can give to prove it's real!!
Bloo: Come on!! You don't even know where that bag's been.
Psycho: Yeah, we do. It's been right in our ride, remember?
Tron: But it could be some kind of portable core-meltdown or something.
Psycho: (scoffs) No problem. I'm a Toon. I can handle anything.
He grunted, struggling in the bag with Nack trying to hold his buddy.
Nack: Psy, you doing okay?
Psycho: (struggling) It's stuck, I...(grunting) Agh. Oh, ahh, oh.
Argit: (yelps) Careful, careful! We don't wanna get sued, ya know.
Psycho: (glances) Ooh-ooh.
Then, out came a glowing orb from the insane weasel's hand.
Bloo: You see?! I told you. Now you're nuked, man.
Psycho: Or am I? Watch and be amazed as from nothing I produce this...
Nack: Unless we're wrong, and I hardly ever am...(glares) Bat Squirrel-
Batula: (snaps) Oh come on now!
Nack: (looks back)-this is for you, Roll.
The two weasels touched it, transforming the orb into a lawn flamingo.
Psycho: (grins) Now ain't that just exactly what you wanted for Christmas?
Tron: What are you, crazy? Totally un-awesome. (shakes her head) No, man, get with it. I need something major, not Flamingo Pride-looking.
Mr. Bump: But make it come to life and give it a yo-yo and we'll talk!
Psycho: Okay! Okay! That was just for practice. (holds his arms out) Now, I'm in the groove. Now, I am at one with the magic.
He snatched another orb, tranforming it.
Psycho: (grins) How about this?
It transformed into a singing framed fish.
Psycho: (grins) Like it?
Mr. Bump: AHHHH! (points) EVIL!
Bowser Jr.: (snaps) Get that away from us!!
Miss Calamity: AGH! You animal!!
She slapped it off.
Psycho: Okay, bad idea. Bad idea.
He snatched the next one, transforming it to a Scottish teddy bear.
Psycho: (smirks) That's you.
Miss Calamity: AHHHHHHH!
Miss Calamity slaps it away, terrified.
Miss Calamity: GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!
Psycho: Oh right. Forgot about your bear fear for a moment.
Then, it showed Nack with a nutcracker from the sack with him chuckling as he played with it.
Nack: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Hiram: (snaps) GET THAT OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I SLAP YOU!!
It then showed Psycho showing a toy on a rocking horse with a grin.
Psycho: Ah-ha!
It then finally showed a toy kit of a sort with Nack showing it.
Nack: What the-? (glances) Why does this one look like a Lego character?
Rudolph sighed with worry.
Psycho: (frowns) If the next toy a wolf, I'm leaving.
The next toy was shown, showing it to be a toy Pidgey flapping its toy wings before it stopped.
Tron: Guys, enough!!
She stopped the two, slapping their hands away from the sack.
Both: Ow!!
Nic: She's right: It doesn't work for you. I mean come on...so far, you two only pulled out junk and stuff that pissed us off!
Nack: (tosses the toy) Good point.
Tron: Yeah...(pauses) Can I see the Lego-looking item for a second?
Nack: (passes the toy) Sure, knock yourself silly.
She looked at the toy for a moment, looking cautiously.
Tron: Hmmm...I have an idea on that.
(Present)
Tron: And THAT is where my very own Servebot came from: From you, Nack.
Nack: (meekly) Okay, okay. So Psy and I got carried away. Big deal!
(Past)
Back at the police station, a female officer was pulling a familiar green colored chimp as he frowned in anger.
Officer Female: Right through here. Come on!
Mojo: You will not hold me, for I won't be here for long. Mojo cannot be held in a prison that he escape, therefor...
Office Female: Oh shut up!
As that happened, the familiar black haired young man detective glanced at the robots with Ansem.
Jimmy: Look, guy, if your nose is clean, you'll get a hot meal and be out on the street before you can say, "Frosty the Snowman".
Grounder: Oh! Oh! Can I sing that song?
Most: (annoyed) No!
Jimmy: But it would be a lot better if you'd give me your real name.
Ansem: (sighs) I've told you. I've told everybody. My name is Santa Claus.
Coconuts: (face palms) Santa...can we talk about how there are people who think YOU are crazy?
Ansem: But I am not insane!!
Grounder: I demand to see a lawyer! Officer, call me a lawyer!
Officer Male: (shrugs) Okay, you're a lawyer.
Grounder: Thank you!!
Scratch: (face faults) We're doomed.
Jimmy: (sweatdrops) Okay, we'll just go with "John Doe".
Grounder: Better make it "Christopher Robin". No way are we going to use "Kringle" for a last name at this rate on getting out of here.
Ansem: Now, see here. This is a really horrible misunderstanding.
Scratch: Just call him DiZ for now and just get it over with!
Coconuts: And his last name "Ney"
Grounder: (Pause) "Diz Ney". Nah, that will never catch on.
Ansem: I see...(to Jimmy) Anyhow, I need to find a man named Sora.
Jimmy: You have one phone call.
Ansem: (chuckles) Oh Jimmy Kudo, I can't explain something like this on the telephone.
Jimmy: Well, unless you have some magical powers, that's the only way you'll talk to him tonight.
Grounder: Try using that special magic stuff that was made when the frogs got beaten! I forget. What was it called again?
Scratch: How the heck should I know?! It got obsolete after the tournament Dr. Eggman made!
Jimmy: Age?
Ansem: (sighs) 151.
Jimmy looked stunned at what he heard as Gordon, watching the scene, pondered a bit.
Gordon: Hmmmm...
Meanwhile, out on the streets, the gang on Marvelous Queen zoomed passed the streets.
Nic: It's official: We've got to find him.
Dingo: (nods) Too right. We've got to get this sack back into the right hands.
Sleet: You saw how it was.
Psycho: Even me, noted "philanthropic" that I am, couldn't get the right stuff out of this sack.
Nack: It's true. You could see him try to pull a rabbit out.
Nic: Didn't Bullwinkle tried the hat trick too?
Batula: (petting Rudolph) Do you know vhat this means?
Mr. Bump: That we're mentally scarred and that magic doesn't always work out too well?
Bowser: No, dumbass! It really works! You guys were using it wrong!
Nack: No! It means the end of Christmas as we know it!
Psycho: Right, no Santa means no toys, no toys means no happy kids, no happy kids means no hope and joy, and we're screwed!
Mr. Bump: (realizes) And no Christmas means no Decemberween and no Decemberween means...(horrified) Gasp! No Jesus beliefs anymore!! AHHHH! The religion's in danger!!
A few face palmed.
Warren: (anger mark) Why would anyone forget Him if there's no Christmas? Where the crap's the logic in that?!
Mr. Bump: He was born on this day, duuuuuh! How would you like if someone missed out on YOUR birthday?
Argit: (confused) He's got a birthday?
Batula: Everyone, you're missing ze point!! (shows the sack) Zere's only one person authorized to operate this sack.
Psycho: It's his big red oneness, "The Claus"!
Mr. Bump: (confused) What does a contact has to do with this?
At the prison, the cuffed four were pushed to the cells with each criminal glaring at where the human and robots were walking.
Coconuts: At least Dr. Eggman ain't here.
Officer: Open "D" cell.
The door opened up before the four were shoved inside with cuffs off.
Officer: Close "D."
The door slammed shut behind them.
Random Prisoner: This ain't no flophouse, buddy.
Other Prisoner: Yeah.
The four got up, yelping as they saw many thugs in their cell glaring.
Scratch: (nervously) Uh um...tough crowd.
The familiar hoodlums with Scourge and Fiona sitting on top of the battered and unconscious Don frowned to the robots.
Fiona: You got arrested for being drunk and pain in the necks too, dumb bots?
Coconuts: No, just being pain in the necks.
Grounder: And it wasn't our fault this time!!
Boomer: Ugh. I don't believe it. This place is full already.
A few cruel prisoners chuckled a bit with Ansem looking concerned.
Scratch: (sweatdrops) This is going to be a long night.
Narrator: December 24th, 7 AM.
The next morning, at a building marked "H. Mouse", the sun began rising to where a familiar looking house was with mail stuffed in the battered mailbox. Inside, as many nicnacs were shown, the familiar figures were sleeping with a familiar girl in glasses, sleeping near the girl holding a screwdriver to the finished toy on the floor and couches. Just then, something smacked to the young koopa kid's head.
Bowser Jr.: (mutters) R...r...rhino feeder! (awakens) Huh?
Psycho: Rise and shine!
He blew the kazoo, awakening the ones in the room as they yelped, falling to the ground.
Psycho: It's time to put fuel in the tank and rubber on the road and reunite old Father Christmas, a close, personal friend of mine, with his magic sack.
Tron: (groggy) But I don't wanna go to school...
Nack: (annoyed) Psy, I'm not much of a morning person. Remember?
Psycho: Neither am I, but you design me to be your personal alarm clock!
Inez: (yawns) Miss Roll? I know I got explained about what happened so far, but um...
Tron: (rubs her eyes) Do you think we could just keep it down to a dull roar?
Mac: (yawns) I know how you feel. How's Rudolph?
The Mr. Man picked up Rudolph, who's nose blinked a bit.
Mr. Bump: Still blinking.
Inez: (to Tron) Anyway, does your mom know where you are?
Tron: (nervously) Err, I don't know what you mean.
More pancakes were flipped, hitting each face as Hiram, in night clothing, entered.
Hiram: Hey, you guys seen those dumb bots anywhere? They never came home.
Psycho: Eh?
Dingo: When I see His Frostiness, I'm going to ask him how he got in my house when I was a kid, because we didn't even have a chimney.
Sleet: (frowns) And I suppose you have a theory on this.
Dingo: Oh hell yeah! My theory is...he got in through the forced-air heating system.
Psycho: (pause) Are you sure it isn't because he went through a pipe on the ceiling and a fireplace was made by magic? That's how I dreamt of it.
Bloo: Ugh. You kill me.
Tron: (stands up) Man. You talk like you believe all this stuff; all this Christmas, Santa Claus, fa-la-la-la-la stuff.
Dingo: Of course, I believe.
Mr. Bump: Roll...are you an atheist?
Tron: What? No!
Bloo: She's probably a Jew.
Tron: (anger mark) Do I look Jewish to you?
Bloo: No, more like a bi...(gets hit) OUCH!
Frankie: Bloo, no!!
Mac: Listen Roll, Christmas is a known fact.
Eduardo: Uh-huh. Millions of people, all over the world, celebrate Navidad every single year; with colorful cards, and festively wrapped packages with big bows.
Nic: Especially bows Minnie sells.
Dingo: Well one Christmas Eve, I was lying in bed. And I thought I heard a noise in the heat ducts.
Bowser: (frowns) And you thought it was reindeer on the roof?
Dingo: No, I thought it was Santa Claus...trapped in the heating system.
Mr. Bump: You sure it wasn't a dead guy in the chimney? It happened in "Gremlins".
Dingo: Of course not. (pauses) That happened to Grounder once. Anyhow, I pictured him wandering around in there trying to find a way out, and finally turning himself into sort of this big blob, and oozing through the vent covers.
Most looked a bit disgusted.
Wilt: I'm sorry, but you're a sick man, Dingo.
Hiram: Uh...like I asked: Where's Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts?
Psycho: I thought they followed us and turned invisible.
Nic: The last time I saw those three were at the museum.
Psycho: (pauses) Come to think of it...Don never called us OR left us the Rock Solid keys.
Nack: (scoffs) He MUST be drunk. That's the tenth time that's happened!
Rudolph became a bit confused.
Batula: Listen, it may be hard to believe, but ve have to energize ourselves, zen find the robots AND Kringle.
Dingo: (smirks) Too right. With my tracking skills, that should be no problemo. Comprendo?
The remaining pancakes landed in a stack on a plate with Psycho leaning to the griddle accidentally, causing him to yelp, removing them and showing his arms turned red before quickly slapping some butter on his red hands.
Psycho: (sweatddrops) I like lots and lots of butter with mine, don't you? Lots of butter. (relieved) Oooh.
Mr. Bump: I can't believe it's not butter.
Back with Muscle Man, both he and Hi-Fives watched the snorting Reindeer walking on the ceiling with the remaining ones below.
Muscle Man: Oh, yeah. Alien goats, all right. I read about this in The Enquirer.
Hi-Fives Ghost: I thought you don't like things that mess with your brain!
Muscle Man: This one had pictures and jokes to use!
Hi-Fives Ghost: Because I found this...
He went to the crate with a logo, then showed it to Muscle Man.
Muscle Man: (reading) "Reindeer"? (stuttering/squealing) B-b-but I knew that! It's part of the same species.
Just then, the two heard whooshing before noticing the 6th deer on the ceiling.
Muscle Man: That's six out of eight.
The reindeer continued walking on the ceiling.
Muscle Man: Fives, there is something real significant going on here.
His eyes wobbled around a bit. Back in the prison, the prisoners were singing together with Ansem motioning with his arms, smiling.
Prisoners: (singing) Five golden rings
Miles: (singing bitterly) Four calling birds
Rosy: (singing) Three French hens
Grounder: (singing) Two turtle doves
He then motioned to where Eggman, in his cell, was.
Eggman: (singing) And a partridge in a pear tree
Afterward, the prisoners began applauding to the man.
Grounder: Now let's sing the 12 things at Christmas is just a pain to me!
Boss: Oh hell no!!
Back at the museum, the familiar woman was showing a decoration tot he children.
Woman: This one was made in Mrs. Thompson's room. Isn't that nice?
Bloo's Voice: Hey! Excuse us! Vacationeers coming through!
Woman: You have to be very careful when...
Just when she was about to do so, the familiar figures arrived.
Psycho: Hi, lady. The guys and I need to find the man who was here yesterday.
Hiram: And my robot roommates. Grounder thinks less than before if he doesn't come back home.
Psycho: Oh, and I just thought of this neat theme song. (singing) Oh, Triple Dent Gum...
Hiram: (annoyed) No! We aren't singing that.
Nack: (yelps) Psy, no! That song gets stuck in your head!
Psycho: But it's catchy!
Hiram: (frowns) Not to us, it doesn't. It's bad enough Grounder drove us nuts with that song!
Batula: Anyhow, ve need to find zem.
Woman: I know of the robots, but the old man. What's his name?
The insane weasel turned as he looked at the class, then to her.
Psycho: (quietly) Santa Claus.
Woman: Who?
Psycho: (slightly louder) Santa Claus.
Woman: (confused) What'd you say?
Psycho: (anger mark) For crying out loud, Kairi's grandma! His name is Santa Claus.
The children only laughed a bit.
Psycho: (frowns) That's it, yuck it up. Just for that, I'm singing the Triple Dent Gum song in full.
Batula: (panics) Psycho, don't you dare!
Inez: Please, no!
Mr. Bump: Okay, listen up....and no, it isn't the Triple Dent Gum. Those robots are good pals despite how incompetent they are!
Bowser: And yes, they use to work for Dr. Eggman, but according to these guys with me, they quickly quitted and now live with the fat rat.
Hiram: (snaps) I'm not fat and I'm not a rat! Stop saying that!!
Mr. Bump: Yeah, and Santa, who's suppose to be as fat as these two, but isn't this year-
Both: (anger mark) Hey!
Mr. Bump: -just so happens to be a close, personal friend of ours. (holds Bowser Jr.) Just like Junior here.
Psycho: (sticks tongue out) Nah nah nah nah nah nah!
Bowser Jr.: (frowns) Let go of me.
Nack: Yeesh. Fifth-graders think they know everything.
Bowser Jr.: They're dorks.
Miss Calamity: Uh Junior, aren't you, in actuality, in 1st grade?
Bowser Jr.: Elementry's for chumps!
Batula: (sweatdrops) At least Triple Dent Gum's song is better zan that Rick Roll song.
Nic: Soooo...where's the old guy?
Kairi's Grandma: I know who you're talking about. He's that poor old man the police came and took away yesterday.
Psycho: (panics) Uh-uh-uh. Santa Claus got busted?! NOOOOOOOO!!!
Mr. Bump: Quick, we gotta...do something!
Inez: But what?
Dingo: I don't know, but we gotta do something!!
Sleet then a noticed a box instantly appearing to his hands, confusing the wolf before he looked at the reading contents.
Sleet: (reading) "To the Bounty Hunters, this will help in rescuing who you need. Signed, a friend. PS. Open it immediately."
He opened the box, looking inside as he saw many costumes inside.
Sleet: People, we gotta go...NOW!!
The gang rush off though Mr. Bump; hits the camera.
Mr. Bump: Owie!
Outside at the truck, Tron with her group glanced at the red bag.
Tron: What I really wanted for Christmas...(touches the bag) was a million dollars in small, unmarked bills.
The girl prepared to open it as Warren glanced.
Warren: What are ya nuts?
Argit: You're not doing that! (glances) Besides, a million's too small for you. Go for 2 million.
Warren: I'd go for a billion if I were you.
Tron: (smirks) Good idea.
The bag was about to be opened before a familiar voice called out.
Psycho's Voice: HEY ROLL! GUESS WHAT!?
Tron yelped, quickly moving from the bag as the others noticed the hunters arriving.
Tron: (quickly) I wasn't doing nothing! We were guarding it!!
Argit: (quickly) There's no way you can prove we did anything!!
Warren: I swear! She told me she was older than when I found out she was 17!!
Batula: (confused) Vhat are you talking about?
Warren: (sweatdrop) Nothing.
Nack: Well, I got good news and bad news. The bad news is that Santa and the dumb bots are in the slammer.
Psycho: The good news is, we got costumes to use!
Dingo: Too right. Santa's in the bloody slammer and we gotta get him out pronto!
Quickly, they hopped inside.
Mr. Bump: Still, is vagrancy a capital crime?
Psycho: Only if you annoy the wrong people.
Hiram: Why do I have a feeling the dumb bots got framed on Christmas...(bitterly) again?
Nack: We got to get going.
Nic: Let's listen to some music.
Nic turns the weasel on as a familiar song plays.
Man's Voice: (singing) Triple Dent gum,
Woman's Voice: (singing) Will make you smile.
Most: AHHH!!
Batula: TURN IT OFF!!
Finally, the Marvelous Queen began heading off. Back at the police station, as many criminals and annoyed people were being hauled, a few looked concerned with a woman waiting.
Officer: (to the woman) No, lady, you can't have that. Put that back.
She frowned, putting it back while one of the officers came up to a frowning balding man as he spoke with concern.
Officer: I hate to interrupt your meeting, Sergeant Gratling, but they say they're from the governor's office.
Gratling: (frowns) Great, that's just what I need today; some know-nothing from the capital coming down here and telling me how to run my-
Just then, he stopped as he saw the familiar figures, though in convincing disguises, arriving with Jimmy shaking the disguised vampire's hand.
Gratling: Hello, I'm Sergeant Gratling. How can I help you?
Nack: Sir, we're here as lawyers to take care of the one you call Santos.
Psycho: (sounding serious badly) That's right. And our partner has ensured that he gets only the best lawyers he could afford.
Batula: Ahem, um...it's um...
He looked at three photos of the many celebrities before looking seriously.
Batula: (to Gratling) It's Oldman...Christopher Nielsen Oldman. As you can see, ve represent ze governor's State Correctional Institutional Prisoner Fair Treatment Task Force.
Nack: (German) Ja. And I am Fang the Impaler, just Fang, a successful reformed criminal.
Psycho: (woman voice) And I am the Artist Formerly Known as Princess.
Gratling: Yeesh, a transgender. Just what I don't need! (notices) And what's with the kid?
Inez: She's the governor's niece. My niece.
Tron: The name's Tara Larson.
Gratling: Why's she in a school uniform?
Inez: Um...uh-
Warren: (quickly) Her boarding school got her out early today.
Argit: Yeah! Got a problem with that, Gratling?!
Mr. Bump: Anyway, Tara's writing a school paper on "How government really works".
Gratling: On Christmas!?
Argit: It's a very strict boarding school.
Bowser: AND athetistic too-(gets nudged) Ow. What?
Batula: Anyvay, zis is a surprise inspection...(looks at the nametag) Francis, vas it?
Gratling: (anger mark) Never call me Francis!
Psycho: Okay, Frankie. We'll call you that OR Ungratling. How about that?
Gratling: Grrr! Wait just a minute, you dolts!!
Nic: (quietly) Sleet, he's on to us!!
Sleet: Shhh! (quietly) The instructions on the costumes say they were foolproof, even enough to fool the smartest person.
Gratling: There's something suspicious about-
Tron: Look, buster! Do you need an education to be chief, or can anybody do it?
Inez: And there's a little thing called "police corruption". And there are rumors going around which are pretty negative.
Nack: (German voice) Ja. Especially since the times of Al Cabone.
Bowser: (fixes the fake glasses) We had to fight through an army of TV cameramen just to get here!
Gratling: Now look here, I don't know what-
Bowser Jr.: (interrupts) By the way, is that "F-R-A-N-S-Y-S" or "F-R-A-N-C-I-S". Besides, you look more like a "Fanny" to me.
Psycho: (Woman voice) Fanny. Hee hee!
Gratling: Now look-
Nack: Ve can't tell you vhat a...pet project this is of Governor Wingate's. He-he-he.
Sleet: TV cameramen. (motioning) Are we communicating here?
Tron: By the way, were you elected into office or did you just buy your way in? Because a rhino with fake horn claimed YOU lied to get inside.
Gratling: For all the-AUGH!! That backstabbing Valchir!!
Argit: (chuckles) Isn't she a doll?
They laughed a bit. Later, at the prison area, Gratling led the gang down the cells.
Gratling: The goal of this facility is to rehabilitate and retain the whole man: and to make possible his smooth re-entry into society, once he's paid for the crimes he's committed.
He then pointed to Dr. Eggman and where Ansem's group was.
Gratling: These are our most recent offenders.
Batula: Eggman in prison again?
Nic: Damn, he MUST be desperate not to visit his mom on Christmas.
Scratch quickly clenched to the cell.
Scratch: (panics) Please let us out! (points) I can't stand Grounder singing that stupid song another minute!!
Grounder: (Chibi smiles) Let's sing it again!!
Don: Oh crap!
Scourge: (snaps) Don't you dare!!
Grounder took out a guitar from compartment, then began playing as he sang with Don and Scourge's group screaming in agony and the weasels' group quickly covering their ears in fear.
Grounder: (singing) Triple Dent Gum. It'll make you smile!
Triple Dent Gum. It lasts a while.
Triple Dent Gum. It'll help you, mister,
To punch bad breath right in the kisser. (shouts) Triple Dent Gum!
Gratling: (cover ears) Yeah, I agree with you.
Hiram: (annoyed) Oh for Pete sake!!
Jimmy: Open "D" cell.
Psycho: Be sure to take copious notes, Tara, and watch that penmanship.
The door opened with the monkey robot jumping to their legs.
Coconuts: FREEDOM!!
He fell to the ground.
Gratling: Ya ain't out of the slammer yet, bub! First, you have to serve your hours of service!
Scratch: Dammit, I keep telling you: That rat in the zoot suit set us up!
Grounder: What does Don have to do with it?
Scratch: No, no. Wes Weasely!
The weasels were about to scream but Batula shook their head, forcing them to keep quiet.
Sleet: (looks around) Yeesh, this place is overcrowded.
Gratling: Sadly, on Christmas, even evil doesn't get to have a holiday.
Scourge: Come on, we're political prisoners!
Gratling: How are you political?
Fiona: We kicked the overcharging bartender in the groin! What's not political about that?
Bowser Jr.: Is his name Moe?
Fiona: Yes.
Bowser Jr.: (scoffs) Awww, he's always like that.
Bowser: (frowns) Whimp.
Batula: Um...(points to Ansem) Who's the old man?
Jimmy: (looks at a clipboard) Um, Mr. Santos.
Gratling: He keeps making up he's Santa.
Grounder: That's because he is and you're not believing him!
Gratling: If I have 10 bucks for anytime some yahoo claims he's yahoo, I would retired at a young age by now.
Nack: (German accent/to Ansem) Hello, person pretending to be Santa, how have you been treated since you've been here?
Ansem: I'm not pretending, I AM the real deal.
Psycho: (fake woman voice) Eh?
Batula: Excuse me?
Ansem: Santa Claus.
Psycho: (confused) Did he say "Santa Claus"?
Tron: (nods) I think so.
Psycho: Wow, and I thought being a woman is shocking.
Batula: (quietly) Psst. Santa.
He briefly lifted the fake glasses, showing his real eyes.
Ansem: Wait, it's-
Batula: (quietly) Shhh. Don't give us avay. We're getting you out, but you must do vhat we tell you. (louder) My good man, you are not Santa Claus. (quietly/to Ansem) Try to deny it in public.
Ansem nodded a bit, realizing a bit.
Ansem: I tell you I am!
Bowser Jr.: Are not.
Ansem: Am too!
Bowser Jr.: Are not.
Ansem: Am too!
Argit & Bowser Jr.: Are not!
Ansem: I am too, and you know it!
Mr. Bump: Oh, we know it, huh? Then what color is our underwear?
Bowser: (snaps) Dumbass, you don't wear-
Inez: (interrupts) So, what's the diagnose, Christopher Nielsan Oldman?
Batula: Hmmm. (to Gratling) Zis man thinks he is Santa Claus, and you keep him in a cell with regular, ordinary, everyday, harmless criminals?
Scourge: Whoa, whoa, whoa, watch who you're calling "harmless".
Criminal: (stands up) Excuse me, but he really is Santa Claus.
Few Criminals: Yeah.
Nack: (German Voice) Ja. Worst than we thought. Everyone here is Nucking Futs.
Fiona: Ugh, you're as bad as Don here.
Psycho: Aha! (to Gratling) You see that? Infectious insanity.
Hiram: All these guys are trying to get on the nice list at the last minute just by claiming they know it's Santa. I should know, I know a certain rat who is NOT to be mentioned this time of year that does so.
Grounder: (pauses) Rat King?
Mr. Bump: Our lawyer?
Batula: (points to Ansem) This man needs to be isolated. Ze others whom seem in bad shape...maybe.
Inez: (to Tron) Are you getting this?
Tron: Uncle Herbert will be shocked.
Gratling: Maybe it's uh some kind of a mistake; a clerical error. Jim, where's Gordon at anyway?
Jimmy: Same thing he did like Valchir: Took Christmas vacation off, I guess.
Grounder: So who want to sing...
Gratling: (quickly) Take the robots with you! Just don't let him sing that song in here again!
Psycho: (bad woman voice) Now the fat guy, the hedgehog, and his croonies aren't in bad shaped. They're just pissed off. (holds his arms out) THIS is very bad shape.
He twirled around with the green hedgehog and his goons, swiftly tying them around a bit before the Squad looked battered and bruised.
Miles: Urge to kill...rising...
Argit: Yeesh. Is this the way government really works?
Tron: Man, all that corruption.
Nic: (glancing) Look at those beady twinkling eyes, those merry cheeks.
Dingo: Too right, and I'll bet when he laughs he shakes like a bowl full of jelly.
Batula: (frowns) You two incompitence call my office and tell zem I'm taking...
He pointed to the group near Ansem.
Batula: Zese...zese menaces to society to the padded party room.
Sleet: (to Tron) I hate for you to have to see this, my dear.
Tron: I'd hate for Uncle Herbert to have to see this.
Psycho: (bad woman voice) Oh, don't tell him.
Nack: (German voice/to Gratling) The governor would make a throw rug out of this man's chest hair.
He plucked the piece of hair on the man.
Gratling: Agh!
Psycho: (Woman voice) Don't go for the hair. Go for the chest.
Most: Ugh!
Psycho: What?
Batula: Come on, ve need to take you avay. (quietly) Try to make it convincing.
Nack: Move it, pops!
Psycho: Right. Let's go!!
Scourge: (realizes) Oh now I get it...(shouts) Hey, we started that Triple Dent Gum commercial song. Ya gonna let us out?
Gratling: Why the hell would I do that?!
Miles: Don't know, something about you hating the song?
Gratling: I'm not falling for that one.
Alicia: Hmmm...uh Don, didn't we see that Commercial last night at the bar?
Don: (realizes) Oh yeah. How does it go? That's right. (singing) Triple Dent Gum, it makes you smile-
Most: Gah!
Eggman: GET THEM OUT!!
Quickly, Gratling shoved Don and Scourge's gang toward the bounty hunters in disguise.
Gratling: Make them go, NOW!!
Nack: (German accent) Duncashe. (to the group) Move it.
Coconuts: See you guys later!
Grounder: And always remember Triple Dent Gum!!
They were pushed as the prisoners each shouted while the disguised hunters dragged the former prisoners away.
Random Prisoners: (randomly) See you, Santa. Take it easy, Santa. Remember to be safe.
Tron: Can we still get ice cream?
Psycho: (woman voice) Of course we can, but none for him.
Random Prisoner: We'll be good!
Don: Yeah, yeah.
Eggman: And remember your promise for my gift, Santa!
As soon as they were out of sight, the sergeant sighed a bit.
Gratling: Finally...had enough fake Santa cases for one year.
Jimmy: Come on. At least let's see some TV before we head out.
At that moment, when the TV at the corner was turned on, a familiar commercial, much to their horror, began playing.
Voice 1: Triple Dent Gum!
Voice 2: It makes you smile!
Most: AAAAUUUUGH!!
Outside the prison, Tron jumped happily with a grin.
Tron: (Chibi smiles) All right! Was that cool or what? "Is this the way government really works?" And they bought it! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, what a team.
Grounder: Yeah! (confused) What team are we?
Ansem: (sighs) That was close. Thank you, friends.
The disguises were removed with Psycho grinning.
Psycho: (normal voice) Don't thank us, thank Sleet for finding what we'll call the Inventory Box that Inez made that she made appear.
Inez: What? That's not my invention. Although it DOES seem like a good idea.
Nack: Don't you got one of your own, Psy? In that straight jacket of yours?
Psycho: That's...none of your damn business.
(Present)
Nack: That explains the Inventory Box.
Psycho: Seriously, we though Nezzie DID invent it.
Inez: I told you guys, it wasn't mine. (frowns) And don't call me Nezzie!
(Past)
Ansem looked at his watch, looking worried.
Ansem: Time is running out.
Nack: (grins) This is great. You are the most famous person I've ever met.
Scourge: (scoffs) Whatever. We're hitting the arcade.
However, the jacket was pulled, causing Scourge to fall down.
Psycho: Oh no. We busted you guys out, so do us a favor and help us help Santa.
Scourge: And what if we don't?
Nack: Then you leave us no choice. (pause) Psycho, Grounder, start singing.
Fiona: (panics) Holy crap, no!!
Grounder: Yay! We get to sing it again! (playing the guitar) Sing it!
Psycho: (singing) Triple Dent Gum!
Grounder: (singing) It helps you smile!
Rosy: AGH!!
Miles: Oh crap, no!!
Scourge: Okay, okay! We'll help! Just make them stop!!!
Nack smirks as he smacks Psycho away.
Psycho: Wheeeee!
Scratch grabs Grounder's guitar and smashes it over his head.
Grounder: (dazed) Thank you sir, may I have another?
Nic: (to Ansem) Wow...You're him: "Mr. Twinkle in the Eye", "Mr. Rosy Cheeks", "Mr. Ho-Ho"!
Dingo: Too right. I've got sugarplums dancing in my head as we speak.
Argit: (frowns) Dudes, chill out, will you?
Tron: Yeah, we just busted these guys out. Enough with the fake phony make believe.
Mr. Bump: (to Ansem) Whisperingly, she still doesn't believe in you.
Bloo: I do once he gives me what I want!
Tron: (scoffs) Get real. Nobody believes in Santa Claus.
Ansem: (points) Oh, she's been this way since that Christmas when I brought her a doll instead of a baseball mitt. I remember it like it was last year.
Tron: (frowns) It WAS last year!
Dingo: And you're only saying that because your dollhouse had a piece of coal on it!
Ansem: Yes, isn't that right...Tron Bonne?
Tron: (confused) Huh? How did...
She looked more confused while Ansem only smiled.
Ansem: I know a lot of stuff...including your missing sister Jenny.
Psycho: So THAT is your real name.
Tron: (holds her arm sadly) Yeah...
Don: (pauses) Am I missing something here!?
(End of Act 4)
Back at Valchir's, Tron smirked with a chuckle as she pointed to the Freelancers.
Tron: (to Valchir) ...and they got fired. Some crazy old guy stiffed him for a $30 cab ride, and instead of calling the cops, Bobo here knocked down the meter.
Dingo: But my name's Dingo!
Tron then showed Rudolph to him.
Tron: But at least we keep this cute reindeer as payment.
Psycho: His nose blinks too.
Nack: And he got a shining nose.
Dumb Ones: Like a light bulb!
At that moment, as Mr. Bump was helping Bowser pull something, the koopa kid sniffed the air a bit.
Bowser Jr.: Mmmm, smells meaty.
Tron: (gasps) No way! (takes some food) Are those bacon cheeseburgers?!
Nack: Come on, Valchie, it ain't like Glomgold's cab company can't afford to give somebody a free ride every now and then.
They pulled the cord nearby a bit.
Coco: Co co!!
Eduardo: And besides, Senor Rhino, it's Christmastime. Feliz Navidad!
Hiram: He's got a point. It's a time for giving.
Wilt: (nods) Yeah, and for peace and harmony.
Bloo: But mostly...it's about the presents.
Bowser: (struggling) What the crap did you even talk to me to do this for?! That jerk hates me!!
Mr. Bump: (grunting) Because, we need his Christmas cord and have HIM celebrate Christmas while we celebrate Decemberween!!
Just then, part of the wall broke.
Valchir: MY DECORATIONS!!
Batula: (gulps) Uh oh.
Nic: It's a time for chestnuts opening on a roasted fire.
More of the cord was pulled off.
Sleet: Um...(sweatdrops) A time for sleigh bells tinkling in the snow.
Mr. Bump: (pulling) Ungh, too stuck.
Dingo: Damn, rhino, that puppy's really stuck. Know what I mean?
More of the cord was pulled, ruining the wall, which led to one of the lights on the wall.
Mr. Bump: You know, Val, it looks like a transmutation of your 110 and your 220. Know what I mean?
Sleet: (pauses) Hey, Dingo, Bump? Mind finishing this off for us.
The smart ones dropped the cord as the dumb ones kept a hold on.
Mr. Bump; No problem!
Bowser Jr.: (to himself) 5, 4, 3...
Just then, the item in question was pulled off with everything flashing and Valchir's anguish screams heard. Meanwhile, at the police station, the robots with the number wear frowned as they watched Ansem getting his picture taken with a sign that had numbers held on his hand at both his front and side.
Grounder: He's taking too long.
Scratch: (scoffs) We've been through worse when we first got arrested.
Later, Ansem was getting his fingerprints marked.
Ansem: (to Jenny) I arrived here just today. I had a simple job to do, and then everything started to get unraveled. First, I lost my sack, and now this.
Coconuts: Oh we've been there. We get framed pretty much a lot around here. Besides, what do you expect from a city full of criminals and bad guys anyway?
Ansem: (sighs) If you'd only take a moment and just try to understand...
Older Officer: (leading him) Come on, pops, you guys and me got some paperwork to do.
Ansem: You're making a very big mistake.
Grounder: Yeah, Wes framed us!
Officer Jenny: Look, it's either this or the insane asylum and the place is filled up.
Coconuts: But it's the truth this time, dammit!!
Older Officer: Yeah, yeah. That's what the fat woozle and his foxy girlfriend said before the hedgehog was kicking his butt.
As they were dragged away, Jenny took the paper, then looked confused.
Officer Jenny: (to a different officer) Hey, look at this.
The two looked at the fingerprints with the prints each having a different snowflake-like print on each one.
Officer Jenny: I never saw anything like this before.
Officer: (shrugs) He must be wearing invisible gloves or something.
Officer Jenny: (dryly) Invisible gloves? Really?
Meanwhile, at a studio, Sora along with two children actors named Charlie Brown & Sally were looking through the script as each one spoke with the producer, director, and writer each named Miss Naughty, Mr. Director, & Bamm-Bamm Rubble nearby watching.
Sally: "I'm frightened. "
Sora: "Don't worry. It's only thunder. We'll all be safe here...together. "
The kids watching smiled as did the producer, whom removed the camera. As he continued, the con weasel looked at the scenery with a cruel grin.
Sora: (chuckles) Oh, great. You kids are terrific actors. You really are. I want to thank you because you helped me a lot. I was a little nervous.
Miss Naughty: (to the director) He's a natural with the kids. He's already got them both saying "please" and "thank you."
Bamm-Bamm: You're the director, Mr. Director, but personally, I think there's chemistry here.
Mr. Director: (nods/serious tone) Chemistry is very important.
Miss Naughty: Perhaps we should look into getting a few props from Mr. Plotz, especially the (winks) mistletoe.
(Present)
Miss Naughty: (glares) Hey, that's not how I-
Grounder: SHHHH! We're trying to tell a story here!!
Miss Naughty: (snaps) You weren't even memory protected, you dolt!
Grounder: (confused) I wasn't?
(Past)
Later, down the hall, Wes grinned to the exhausted Sora.
Sora: Phew. I feel exhausted.
Wes: Relax, buddy. It will be worth it in the end.
He slapped the back.
Wes: And besides...(smirks) Chemistry. You've got it, they want it.
Sora: (grins) Really?
Wes: (chuckles) Yeah, yeah. They want to shoot some tests tomorrow, but don't worry about that.
Sora: Great! (pauses) By the way, what happened to the old guy and the robots?
Wes: Forget about them. You've got a new career about to fire up.
Sora: Good. Good, but did he ever find his sack or whatever it was?
Wes: (not listening) Yeah, yeah. Taken care of.
As he patted Sora's back, no one noticed Wes crossing his fingers behind his back. Back at Valchir's, the chandelier was lifted up and down with Rudolph pulling the cord to the almost ruined house Mr. Bump and the weaker ones were struggling.
Dingo: I know what we need, Val: Bolt cutters!
He let go, darting out just as it caused the dumb ones to scream, then fling out and around with the chandelier smashed to the table with food.
Valchir: (sobs) Why me? Why me?
Argit: (passing by) Grow up, jerk.
Outside, Dingo went to the Marvelous Queen with Rudolph following before opening the trunk. Then, as he heard jingling while taking out bolt cutters, he glanced at the familiar sack nearby, clapping it a bit before looking back and trying to listen to the jingle.
Dingo: Yipes! Jingling noises!
The deer hopped up, looking at the bag with Mac and most exiting the building. The deer pointed with worry.
Dingo: Huh? Why look at the pretty sack? (pauses) Although...
Sleet: Dingooooo? What are you up to?
Dingo: Well since it's finders keepers and such, it wouldn't hurt to look in the bright sack, wouldn't it?
Psycho: For once, Dingo has a logical point.
After looking back, the gang looked inside the sack, then they heard children voices giggling as they looked at the brightness inside.
Nack: What the crap?
Batula: (shocked) Zat means...
Most: (realizes) He's him.
Psycho: Yee...him who?
Later, out in the night streets, Tron frowned as did the non believers.
Tron: There's no such thing. Think about it; a guy who flies around the whole world in one night. It just doesn't quite correspond with the laws of time and travel.
Nack: Well, it could be he got magic that allows him to do so on one night...
Psycho: Yeah! As if he became the Chosen One to...
Sleet: (scoffs) Only in some alternative universe!
(Present)
Nack: See, guys? Bits of the first timeline got in there.
Courage: (face palms) Ooooh!
(Past)
Mac: They have a point...it IS possible.
Eduardo: It is true!
Nack: Yeah. Take the international date line, multiply it by the time zones, divide it by the accelerated rotation of the Earth. Now, carry the one. Allowing for the vernal equinox on the Tropic of Cancer, he might just pull it off.
Bloo: NEEEEEERD!!!
Nack: Watch it, Blue!
Psycho: (points) Besides, Nack, I stopped paying attention halfway through that sentence.
Tron: (frustrated) All right, all right. Let's just say this guy really is Santa Claus, okay? Why is he riding around in airplanes and taxicabs?
Bowser Jr.: She's right. Where's his sleigh?
Mr. Bump: Where are his reindeer? We only got one of the 7 with us.
Most: 8.
Mr. Bump: Really? Then whose the 8th one?
Back at the crate area, the eight reindeer were chomping while snorting around the grassy spilling. As that was happening, Muscle Man peeked behind an empty box, slowly with Hi-Fives following, going closer before stopping.
Muscle Man: (points) You know what I think that is?
The deer began jumping a bit with some snorting.
Muscle Man: I think those are Latvian goats.
He paused before shaking it off.
Muscle Man: Wait a minute. (glances) It...It could be aliens.
Just then, one of the reindeer jumped, making the two yelp before they saw the first deer waling on the ceiling. Then, they yelped as another one did the same. Back at the museum, the door was kicked with Mr. Bump shouting.
Mr. Bump: Hello? Is anybody in there? (kicks the door) If you can't, I'll kick louder!!
Batula: (grabs him) Bump, no!!
Psycho: (muffles through the glass) Santa, are you in there?
Nack: (shows the sack) The gang and I've got your sack. It's safe.
Tron: (frowns) I told you, they're all gone.
Dingo: (yelps) AHHHH!! (points) Spider!!
Most face faulted a bit.
Argit: Okay, stupid question: (crosses his arms) What is this about, anyway?
Nack: (sighs) I don't know. (ponders) Well, I think I know, but...(motions) Come over here a second. I wanna show you guys something.
Bloo: (dryly) Oh that's rich.
They went to the sack with Rudolph and Batula becoming concerned.
Batula: Nack, I don't think-
Warren: (interrupts) Well what the crap is in that crappy sack anyway? (shows the candy) Here Bump, have some candy.
Mr. Bump: Thanks!
Mr. Bump bites into it, yelping as we hear teeth breaking.
Mr. Bump: Ouch. Broke my false teeth!
Bowser: (face palms) For the love of crap! This is the 20th time this week! (quickly) And not just because I had a hand on the part the first 2 times.
The sack was placed down.
Psycho: Here, we want to show you something. Watch this.
The sack was opened up as the giggling in the sack was heard.
Mr. Bump: (panics) AHHH! Ghosts!!
Miss Calamity: Oh dear! (worried) He had kids in the sack?
Nic: What? Hell no! It's not kids at all.
They looked inside as they saw what was glowing with Tron smiling.
Tron: (amazed) Whoa, groovy Tuesday!
Psycho: (proudly) I am going to slowly and carefully...reach into this glowing bag...and see if my finely honed instincts...are correct.
Nack: From nothing, he produces this...
However, his hand was pulled away.
Wilt: (worried) No, no. Don't do it. I mean, sorry, you don't know what's in that bag.
Eduardo: But Wilt, it's what we can give to prove it's real!!
Bloo: Come on!! You don't even know where that bag's been.
Psycho: Yeah, we do. It's been right in our ride, remember?
Tron: But it could be some kind of portable core-meltdown or something.
Psycho: (scoffs) No problem. I'm a Toon. I can handle anything.
He grunted, struggling in the bag with Nack trying to hold his buddy.
Nack: Psy, you doing okay?
Psycho: (struggling) It's stuck, I...(grunting) Agh. Oh, ahh, oh.
Argit: (yelps) Careful, careful! We don't wanna get sued, ya know.
Psycho: (glances) Ooh-ooh.
Then, out came a glowing orb from the insane weasel's hand.
Bloo: You see?! I told you. Now you're nuked, man.
Psycho: Or am I? Watch and be amazed as from nothing I produce this...
Nack: Unless we're wrong, and I hardly ever am...(glares) Bat Squirrel-
Batula: (snaps) Oh come on now!
Nack: (looks back)-this is for you, Roll.
The two weasels touched it, transforming the orb into a lawn flamingo.
Psycho: (grins) Now ain't that just exactly what you wanted for Christmas?
Tron: What are you, crazy? Totally un-awesome. (shakes her head) No, man, get with it. I need something major, not Flamingo Pride-looking.
Mr. Bump: But make it come to life and give it a yo-yo and we'll talk!
Psycho: Okay! Okay! That was just for practice. (holds his arms out) Now, I'm in the groove. Now, I am at one with the magic.
He snatched another orb, tranforming it.
Psycho: (grins) How about this?
It transformed into a singing framed fish.
Psycho: (grins) Like it?
Mr. Bump: AHHHH! (points) EVIL!
Bowser Jr.: (snaps) Get that away from us!!
Miss Calamity: AGH! You animal!!
She slapped it off.
Psycho: Okay, bad idea. Bad idea.
He snatched the next one, transforming it to a Scottish teddy bear.
Psycho: (smirks) That's you.
Miss Calamity: AHHHHHHH!
Miss Calamity slaps it away, terrified.
Miss Calamity: GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!
Psycho: Oh right. Forgot about your bear fear for a moment.
Then, it showed Nack with a nutcracker from the sack with him chuckling as he played with it.
Nack: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Hiram: (snaps) GET THAT OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I SLAP YOU!!
It then showed Psycho showing a toy on a rocking horse with a grin.
Psycho: Ah-ha!
It then finally showed a toy kit of a sort with Nack showing it.
Nack: What the-? (glances) Why does this one look like a Lego character?
Rudolph sighed with worry.
Psycho: (frowns) If the next toy a wolf, I'm leaving.
The next toy was shown, showing it to be a toy Pidgey flapping its toy wings before it stopped.
Tron: Guys, enough!!
She stopped the two, slapping their hands away from the sack.
Both: Ow!!
Nic: She's right: It doesn't work for you. I mean come on...so far, you two only pulled out junk and stuff that pissed us off!
Nack: (tosses the toy) Good point.
Tron: Yeah...(pauses) Can I see the Lego-looking item for a second?
Nack: (passes the toy) Sure, knock yourself silly.
She looked at the toy for a moment, looking cautiously.
Tron: Hmmm...I have an idea on that.
(Present)
Tron: And THAT is where my very own Servebot came from: From you, Nack.
Nack: (meekly) Okay, okay. So Psy and I got carried away. Big deal!
(Past)
Back at the police station, a female officer was pulling a familiar green colored chimp as he frowned in anger.
Officer Female: Right through here. Come on!
Mojo: You will not hold me, for I won't be here for long. Mojo cannot be held in a prison that he escape, therefor...
Office Female: Oh shut up!
As that happened, the familiar black haired young man detective glanced at the robots with Ansem.
Jimmy: Look, guy, if your nose is clean, you'll get a hot meal and be out on the street before you can say, "Frosty the Snowman".
Grounder: Oh! Oh! Can I sing that song?
Most: (annoyed) No!
Jimmy: But it would be a lot better if you'd give me your real name.
Ansem: (sighs) I've told you. I've told everybody. My name is Santa Claus.
Coconuts: (face palms) Santa...can we talk about how there are people who think YOU are crazy?
Ansem: But I am not insane!!
Grounder: I demand to see a lawyer! Officer, call me a lawyer!
Officer Male: (shrugs) Okay, you're a lawyer.
Grounder: Thank you!!
Scratch: (face faults) We're doomed.
Jimmy: (sweatdrops) Okay, we'll just go with "John Doe".
Grounder: Better make it "Christopher Robin". No way are we going to use "Kringle" for a last name at this rate on getting out of here.
Ansem: Now, see here. This is a really horrible misunderstanding.
Scratch: Just call him DiZ for now and just get it over with!
Coconuts: And his last name "Ney"
Grounder: (Pause) "Diz Ney". Nah, that will never catch on.
Ansem: I see...(to Jimmy) Anyhow, I need to find a man named Sora.
Jimmy: You have one phone call.
Ansem: (chuckles) Oh Jimmy Kudo, I can't explain something like this on the telephone.
Jimmy: Well, unless you have some magical powers, that's the only way you'll talk to him tonight.
Grounder: Try using that special magic stuff that was made when the frogs got beaten! I forget. What was it called again?
Scratch: How the heck should I know?! It got obsolete after the tournament Dr. Eggman made!
Jimmy: Age?
Ansem: (sighs) 151.
Jimmy looked stunned at what he heard as Gordon, watching the scene, pondered a bit.
Gordon: Hmmmm...
Meanwhile, out on the streets, the gang on Marvelous Queen zoomed passed the streets.
Nic: It's official: We've got to find him.
Dingo: (nods) Too right. We've got to get this sack back into the right hands.
Sleet: You saw how it was.
Psycho: Even me, noted "philanthropic" that I am, couldn't get the right stuff out of this sack.
Nack: It's true. You could see him try to pull a rabbit out.
Nic: Didn't Bullwinkle tried the hat trick too?
Batula: (petting Rudolph) Do you know vhat this means?
Mr. Bump: That we're mentally scarred and that magic doesn't always work out too well?
Bowser: No, dumbass! It really works! You guys were using it wrong!
Nack: No! It means the end of Christmas as we know it!
Psycho: Right, no Santa means no toys, no toys means no happy kids, no happy kids means no hope and joy, and we're screwed!
Mr. Bump: (realizes) And no Christmas means no Decemberween and no Decemberween means...(horrified) Gasp! No Jesus beliefs anymore!! AHHHH! The religion's in danger!!
A few face palmed.
Warren: (anger mark) Why would anyone forget Him if there's no Christmas? Where the crap's the logic in that?!
Mr. Bump: He was born on this day, duuuuuh! How would you like if someone missed out on YOUR birthday?
Argit: (confused) He's got a birthday?
Batula: Everyone, you're missing ze point!! (shows the sack) Zere's only one person authorized to operate this sack.
Psycho: It's his big red oneness, "The Claus"!
Mr. Bump: (confused) What does a contact has to do with this?
At the prison, the cuffed four were pushed to the cells with each criminal glaring at where the human and robots were walking.
Coconuts: At least Dr. Eggman ain't here.
Officer: Open "D" cell.
The door opened up before the four were shoved inside with cuffs off.
Officer: Close "D."
The door slammed shut behind them.
Random Prisoner: This ain't no flophouse, buddy.
Other Prisoner: Yeah.
The four got up, yelping as they saw many thugs in their cell glaring.
Scratch: (nervously) Uh um...tough crowd.
The familiar hoodlums with Scourge and Fiona sitting on top of the battered and unconscious Don frowned to the robots.
Fiona: You got arrested for being drunk and pain in the necks too, dumb bots?
Coconuts: No, just being pain in the necks.
Grounder: And it wasn't our fault this time!!
Boomer: Ugh. I don't believe it. This place is full already.
A few cruel prisoners chuckled a bit with Ansem looking concerned.
Scratch: (sweatdrops) This is going to be a long night.
Narrator: December 24th, 7 AM.
The next morning, at a building marked "H. Mouse", the sun began rising to where a familiar looking house was with mail stuffed in the battered mailbox. Inside, as many nicnacs were shown, the familiar figures were sleeping with a familiar girl in glasses, sleeping near the girl holding a screwdriver to the finished toy on the floor and couches. Just then, something smacked to the young koopa kid's head.
Bowser Jr.: (mutters) R...r...rhino feeder! (awakens) Huh?
Psycho: Rise and shine!
He blew the kazoo, awakening the ones in the room as they yelped, falling to the ground.
Psycho: It's time to put fuel in the tank and rubber on the road and reunite old Father Christmas, a close, personal friend of mine, with his magic sack.
Tron: (groggy) But I don't wanna go to school...
Nack: (annoyed) Psy, I'm not much of a morning person. Remember?
Psycho: Neither am I, but you design me to be your personal alarm clock!
Inez: (yawns) Miss Roll? I know I got explained about what happened so far, but um...
Tron: (rubs her eyes) Do you think we could just keep it down to a dull roar?
Mac: (yawns) I know how you feel. How's Rudolph?
The Mr. Man picked up Rudolph, who's nose blinked a bit.
Mr. Bump: Still blinking.
Inez: (to Tron) Anyway, does your mom know where you are?
Tron: (nervously) Err, I don't know what you mean.
More pancakes were flipped, hitting each face as Hiram, in night clothing, entered.
Hiram: Hey, you guys seen those dumb bots anywhere? They never came home.
Psycho: Eh?
Dingo: When I see His Frostiness, I'm going to ask him how he got in my house when I was a kid, because we didn't even have a chimney.
Sleet: (frowns) And I suppose you have a theory on this.
Dingo: Oh hell yeah! My theory is...he got in through the forced-air heating system.
Psycho: (pause) Are you sure it isn't because he went through a pipe on the ceiling and a fireplace was made by magic? That's how I dreamt of it.
Bloo: Ugh. You kill me.
Tron: (stands up) Man. You talk like you believe all this stuff; all this Christmas, Santa Claus, fa-la-la-la-la stuff.
Dingo: Of course, I believe.
Mr. Bump: Roll...are you an atheist?
Tron: What? No!
Bloo: She's probably a Jew.
Tron: (anger mark) Do I look Jewish to you?
Bloo: No, more like a bi...(gets hit) OUCH!
Frankie: Bloo, no!!
Mac: Listen Roll, Christmas is a known fact.
Eduardo: Uh-huh. Millions of people, all over the world, celebrate Navidad every single year; with colorful cards, and festively wrapped packages with big bows.
Nic: Especially bows Minnie sells.
Dingo: Well one Christmas Eve, I was lying in bed. And I thought I heard a noise in the heat ducts.
Bowser: (frowns) And you thought it was reindeer on the roof?
Dingo: No, I thought it was Santa Claus...trapped in the heating system.
Mr. Bump: You sure it wasn't a dead guy in the chimney? It happened in "Gremlins".
Dingo: Of course not. (pauses) That happened to Grounder once. Anyhow, I pictured him wandering around in there trying to find a way out, and finally turning himself into sort of this big blob, and oozing through the vent covers.
Most looked a bit disgusted.
Wilt: I'm sorry, but you're a sick man, Dingo.
Hiram: Uh...like I asked: Where's Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts?
Psycho: I thought they followed us and turned invisible.
Nic: The last time I saw those three were at the museum.
Psycho: (pauses) Come to think of it...Don never called us OR left us the Rock Solid keys.
Nack: (scoffs) He MUST be drunk. That's the tenth time that's happened!
Rudolph became a bit confused.
Batula: Listen, it may be hard to believe, but ve have to energize ourselves, zen find the robots AND Kringle.
Dingo: (smirks) Too right. With my tracking skills, that should be no problemo. Comprendo?
The remaining pancakes landed in a stack on a plate with Psycho leaning to the griddle accidentally, causing him to yelp, removing them and showing his arms turned red before quickly slapping some butter on his red hands.
Psycho: (sweatddrops) I like lots and lots of butter with mine, don't you? Lots of butter. (relieved) Oooh.
Mr. Bump: I can't believe it's not butter.
Back with Muscle Man, both he and Hi-Fives watched the snorting Reindeer walking on the ceiling with the remaining ones below.
Muscle Man: Oh, yeah. Alien goats, all right. I read about this in The Enquirer.
Hi-Fives Ghost: I thought you don't like things that mess with your brain!
Muscle Man: This one had pictures and jokes to use!
Hi-Fives Ghost: Because I found this...
He went to the crate with a logo, then showed it to Muscle Man.
Muscle Man: (reading) "Reindeer"? (stuttering/squealing) B-b-but I knew that! It's part of the same species.
Just then, the two heard whooshing before noticing the 6th deer on the ceiling.
Muscle Man: That's six out of eight.
The reindeer continued walking on the ceiling.
Muscle Man: Fives, there is something real significant going on here.
His eyes wobbled around a bit. Back in the prison, the prisoners were singing together with Ansem motioning with his arms, smiling.
Prisoners: (singing) Five golden rings
Miles: (singing bitterly) Four calling birds
Rosy: (singing) Three French hens
Grounder: (singing) Two turtle doves
He then motioned to where Eggman, in his cell, was.
Eggman: (singing) And a partridge in a pear tree
Afterward, the prisoners began applauding to the man.
Grounder: Now let's sing the 12 things at Christmas is just a pain to me!
Boss: Oh hell no!!
Back at the museum, the familiar woman was showing a decoration tot he children.
Woman: This one was made in Mrs. Thompson's room. Isn't that nice?
Bloo's Voice: Hey! Excuse us! Vacationeers coming through!
Woman: You have to be very careful when...
Just when she was about to do so, the familiar figures arrived.
Psycho: Hi, lady. The guys and I need to find the man who was here yesterday.
Hiram: And my robot roommates. Grounder thinks less than before if he doesn't come back home.
Psycho: Oh, and I just thought of this neat theme song. (singing) Oh, Triple Dent Gum...
Hiram: (annoyed) No! We aren't singing that.
Nack: (yelps) Psy, no! That song gets stuck in your head!
Psycho: But it's catchy!
Hiram: (frowns) Not to us, it doesn't. It's bad enough Grounder drove us nuts with that song!
Batula: Anyhow, ve need to find zem.
Woman: I know of the robots, but the old man. What's his name?
The insane weasel turned as he looked at the class, then to her.
Psycho: (quietly) Santa Claus.
Woman: Who?
Psycho: (slightly louder) Santa Claus.
Woman: (confused) What'd you say?
Psycho: (anger mark) For crying out loud, Kairi's grandma! His name is Santa Claus.
The children only laughed a bit.
Psycho: (frowns) That's it, yuck it up. Just for that, I'm singing the Triple Dent Gum song in full.
Batula: (panics) Psycho, don't you dare!
Inez: Please, no!
Mr. Bump: Okay, listen up....and no, it isn't the Triple Dent Gum. Those robots are good pals despite how incompetent they are!
Bowser: And yes, they use to work for Dr. Eggman, but according to these guys with me, they quickly quitted and now live with the fat rat.
Hiram: (snaps) I'm not fat and I'm not a rat! Stop saying that!!
Mr. Bump: Yeah, and Santa, who's suppose to be as fat as these two, but isn't this year-
Both: (anger mark) Hey!
Mr. Bump: -just so happens to be a close, personal friend of ours. (holds Bowser Jr.) Just like Junior here.
Psycho: (sticks tongue out) Nah nah nah nah nah nah!
Bowser Jr.: (frowns) Let go of me.
Nack: Yeesh. Fifth-graders think they know everything.
Bowser Jr.: They're dorks.
Miss Calamity: Uh Junior, aren't you, in actuality, in 1st grade?
Bowser Jr.: Elementry's for chumps!
Batula: (sweatdrops) At least Triple Dent Gum's song is better zan that Rick Roll song.
Nic: Soooo...where's the old guy?
Kairi's Grandma: I know who you're talking about. He's that poor old man the police came and took away yesterday.
Psycho: (panics) Uh-uh-uh. Santa Claus got busted?! NOOOOOOOO!!!
Mr. Bump: Quick, we gotta...do something!
Inez: But what?
Dingo: I don't know, but we gotta do something!!
Sleet then a noticed a box instantly appearing to his hands, confusing the wolf before he looked at the reading contents.
Sleet: (reading) "To the Bounty Hunters, this will help in rescuing who you need. Signed, a friend. PS. Open it immediately."
He opened the box, looking inside as he saw many costumes inside.
Sleet: People, we gotta go...NOW!!
The gang rush off though Mr. Bump; hits the camera.
Mr. Bump: Owie!
Outside at the truck, Tron with her group glanced at the red bag.
Tron: What I really wanted for Christmas...(touches the bag) was a million dollars in small, unmarked bills.
The girl prepared to open it as Warren glanced.
Warren: What are ya nuts?
Argit: You're not doing that! (glances) Besides, a million's too small for you. Go for 2 million.
Warren: I'd go for a billion if I were you.
Tron: (smirks) Good idea.
The bag was about to be opened before a familiar voice called out.
Psycho's Voice: HEY ROLL! GUESS WHAT!?
Tron yelped, quickly moving from the bag as the others noticed the hunters arriving.
Tron: (quickly) I wasn't doing nothing! We were guarding it!!
Argit: (quickly) There's no way you can prove we did anything!!
Warren: I swear! She told me she was older than when I found out she was 17!!
Batula: (confused) Vhat are you talking about?
Warren: (sweatdrop) Nothing.
Nack: Well, I got good news and bad news. The bad news is that Santa and the dumb bots are in the slammer.
Psycho: The good news is, we got costumes to use!
Dingo: Too right. Santa's in the bloody slammer and we gotta get him out pronto!
Quickly, they hopped inside.
Mr. Bump: Still, is vagrancy a capital crime?
Psycho: Only if you annoy the wrong people.
Hiram: Why do I have a feeling the dumb bots got framed on Christmas...(bitterly) again?
Nack: We got to get going.
Nic: Let's listen to some music.
Nic turns the weasel on as a familiar song plays.
Man's Voice: (singing) Triple Dent gum,
Woman's Voice: (singing) Will make you smile.
Most: AHHH!!
Batula: TURN IT OFF!!
Finally, the Marvelous Queen began heading off. Back at the police station, as many criminals and annoyed people were being hauled, a few looked concerned with a woman waiting.
Officer: (to the woman) No, lady, you can't have that. Put that back.
She frowned, putting it back while one of the officers came up to a frowning balding man as he spoke with concern.
Officer: I hate to interrupt your meeting, Sergeant Gratling, but they say they're from the governor's office.
Gratling: (frowns) Great, that's just what I need today; some know-nothing from the capital coming down here and telling me how to run my-
Just then, he stopped as he saw the familiar figures, though in convincing disguises, arriving with Jimmy shaking the disguised vampire's hand.
Gratling: Hello, I'm Sergeant Gratling. How can I help you?
Nack: Sir, we're here as lawyers to take care of the one you call Santos.
Psycho: (sounding serious badly) That's right. And our partner has ensured that he gets only the best lawyers he could afford.
Batula: Ahem, um...it's um...
He looked at three photos of the many celebrities before looking seriously.
Batula: (to Gratling) It's Oldman...Christopher Nielsen Oldman. As you can see, ve represent ze governor's State Correctional Institutional Prisoner Fair Treatment Task Force.
Nack: (German) Ja. And I am Fang the Impaler, just Fang, a successful reformed criminal.
Psycho: (woman voice) And I am the Artist Formerly Known as Princess.
Gratling: Yeesh, a transgender. Just what I don't need! (notices) And what's with the kid?
Inez: She's the governor's niece. My niece.
Tron: The name's Tara Larson.
Gratling: Why's she in a school uniform?
Inez: Um...uh-
Warren: (quickly) Her boarding school got her out early today.
Argit: Yeah! Got a problem with that, Gratling?!
Mr. Bump: Anyway, Tara's writing a school paper on "How government really works".
Gratling: On Christmas!?
Argit: It's a very strict boarding school.
Bowser: AND athetistic too-(gets nudged) Ow. What?
Batula: Anyvay, zis is a surprise inspection...(looks at the nametag) Francis, vas it?
Gratling: (anger mark) Never call me Francis!
Psycho: Okay, Frankie. We'll call you that OR Ungratling. How about that?
Gratling: Grrr! Wait just a minute, you dolts!!
Nic: (quietly) Sleet, he's on to us!!
Sleet: Shhh! (quietly) The instructions on the costumes say they were foolproof, even enough to fool the smartest person.
Gratling: There's something suspicious about-
Tron: Look, buster! Do you need an education to be chief, or can anybody do it?
Inez: And there's a little thing called "police corruption". And there are rumors going around which are pretty negative.
Nack: (German voice) Ja. Especially since the times of Al Cabone.
Bowser: (fixes the fake glasses) We had to fight through an army of TV cameramen just to get here!
Gratling: Now look here, I don't know what-
Bowser Jr.: (interrupts) By the way, is that "F-R-A-N-S-Y-S" or "F-R-A-N-C-I-S". Besides, you look more like a "Fanny" to me.
Psycho: (Woman voice) Fanny. Hee hee!
Gratling: Now look-
Nack: Ve can't tell you vhat a...pet project this is of Governor Wingate's. He-he-he.
Sleet: TV cameramen. (motioning) Are we communicating here?
Tron: By the way, were you elected into office or did you just buy your way in? Because a rhino with fake horn claimed YOU lied to get inside.
Gratling: For all the-AUGH!! That backstabbing Valchir!!
Argit: (chuckles) Isn't she a doll?
They laughed a bit. Later, at the prison area, Gratling led the gang down the cells.
Gratling: The goal of this facility is to rehabilitate and retain the whole man: and to make possible his smooth re-entry into society, once he's paid for the crimes he's committed.
He then pointed to Dr. Eggman and where Ansem's group was.
Gratling: These are our most recent offenders.
Batula: Eggman in prison again?
Nic: Damn, he MUST be desperate not to visit his mom on Christmas.
Scratch quickly clenched to the cell.
Scratch: (panics) Please let us out! (points) I can't stand Grounder singing that stupid song another minute!!
Grounder: (Chibi smiles) Let's sing it again!!
Don: Oh crap!
Scourge: (snaps) Don't you dare!!
Grounder took out a guitar from compartment, then began playing as he sang with Don and Scourge's group screaming in agony and the weasels' group quickly covering their ears in fear.
Grounder: (singing) Triple Dent Gum. It'll make you smile!
Triple Dent Gum. It lasts a while.
Triple Dent Gum. It'll help you, mister,
To punch bad breath right in the kisser. (shouts) Triple Dent Gum!
Gratling: (cover ears) Yeah, I agree with you.
Hiram: (annoyed) Oh for Pete sake!!
Jimmy: Open "D" cell.
Psycho: Be sure to take copious notes, Tara, and watch that penmanship.
The door opened with the monkey robot jumping to their legs.
Coconuts: FREEDOM!!
He fell to the ground.
Gratling: Ya ain't out of the slammer yet, bub! First, you have to serve your hours of service!
Scratch: Dammit, I keep telling you: That rat in the zoot suit set us up!
Grounder: What does Don have to do with it?
Scratch: No, no. Wes Weasely!
The weasels were about to scream but Batula shook their head, forcing them to keep quiet.
Sleet: (looks around) Yeesh, this place is overcrowded.
Gratling: Sadly, on Christmas, even evil doesn't get to have a holiday.
Scourge: Come on, we're political prisoners!
Gratling: How are you political?
Fiona: We kicked the overcharging bartender in the groin! What's not political about that?
Bowser Jr.: Is his name Moe?
Fiona: Yes.
Bowser Jr.: (scoffs) Awww, he's always like that.
Bowser: (frowns) Whimp.
Batula: Um...(points to Ansem) Who's the old man?
Jimmy: (looks at a clipboard) Um, Mr. Santos.
Gratling: He keeps making up he's Santa.
Grounder: That's because he is and you're not believing him!
Gratling: If I have 10 bucks for anytime some yahoo claims he's yahoo, I would retired at a young age by now.
Nack: (German accent/to Ansem) Hello, person pretending to be Santa, how have you been treated since you've been here?
Ansem: I'm not pretending, I AM the real deal.
Psycho: (fake woman voice) Eh?
Batula: Excuse me?
Ansem: Santa Claus.
Psycho: (confused) Did he say "Santa Claus"?
Tron: (nods) I think so.
Psycho: Wow, and I thought being a woman is shocking.
Batula: (quietly) Psst. Santa.
He briefly lifted the fake glasses, showing his real eyes.
Ansem: Wait, it's-
Batula: (quietly) Shhh. Don't give us avay. We're getting you out, but you must do vhat we tell you. (louder) My good man, you are not Santa Claus. (quietly/to Ansem) Try to deny it in public.
Ansem nodded a bit, realizing a bit.
Ansem: I tell you I am!
Bowser Jr.: Are not.
Ansem: Am too!
Bowser Jr.: Are not.
Ansem: Am too!
Argit & Bowser Jr.: Are not!
Ansem: I am too, and you know it!
Mr. Bump: Oh, we know it, huh? Then what color is our underwear?
Bowser: (snaps) Dumbass, you don't wear-
Inez: (interrupts) So, what's the diagnose, Christopher Nielsan Oldman?
Batula: Hmmm. (to Gratling) Zis man thinks he is Santa Claus, and you keep him in a cell with regular, ordinary, everyday, harmless criminals?
Scourge: Whoa, whoa, whoa, watch who you're calling "harmless".
Criminal: (stands up) Excuse me, but he really is Santa Claus.
Few Criminals: Yeah.
Nack: (German Voice) Ja. Worst than we thought. Everyone here is Nucking Futs.
Fiona: Ugh, you're as bad as Don here.
Psycho: Aha! (to Gratling) You see that? Infectious insanity.
Hiram: All these guys are trying to get on the nice list at the last minute just by claiming they know it's Santa. I should know, I know a certain rat who is NOT to be mentioned this time of year that does so.
Grounder: (pauses) Rat King?
Mr. Bump: Our lawyer?
Batula: (points to Ansem) This man needs to be isolated. Ze others whom seem in bad shape...maybe.
Inez: (to Tron) Are you getting this?
Tron: Uncle Herbert will be shocked.
Gratling: Maybe it's uh some kind of a mistake; a clerical error. Jim, where's Gordon at anyway?
Jimmy: Same thing he did like Valchir: Took Christmas vacation off, I guess.
Grounder: So who want to sing...
Gratling: (quickly) Take the robots with you! Just don't let him sing that song in here again!
Psycho: (bad woman voice) Now the fat guy, the hedgehog, and his croonies aren't in bad shaped. They're just pissed off. (holds his arms out) THIS is very bad shape.
He twirled around with the green hedgehog and his goons, swiftly tying them around a bit before the Squad looked battered and bruised.
Miles: Urge to kill...rising...
Argit: Yeesh. Is this the way government really works?
Tron: Man, all that corruption.
Nic: (glancing) Look at those beady twinkling eyes, those merry cheeks.
Dingo: Too right, and I'll bet when he laughs he shakes like a bowl full of jelly.
Batula: (frowns) You two incompitence call my office and tell zem I'm taking...
He pointed to the group near Ansem.
Batula: Zese...zese menaces to society to the padded party room.
Sleet: (to Tron) I hate for you to have to see this, my dear.
Tron: I'd hate for Uncle Herbert to have to see this.
Psycho: (bad woman voice) Oh, don't tell him.
Nack: (German voice/to Gratling) The governor would make a throw rug out of this man's chest hair.
He plucked the piece of hair on the man.
Gratling: Agh!
Psycho: (Woman voice) Don't go for the hair. Go for the chest.
Most: Ugh!
Psycho: What?
Batula: Come on, ve need to take you avay. (quietly) Try to make it convincing.
Nack: Move it, pops!
Psycho: Right. Let's go!!
Scourge: (realizes) Oh now I get it...(shouts) Hey, we started that Triple Dent Gum commercial song. Ya gonna let us out?
Gratling: Why the hell would I do that?!
Miles: Don't know, something about you hating the song?
Gratling: I'm not falling for that one.
Alicia: Hmmm...uh Don, didn't we see that Commercial last night at the bar?
Don: (realizes) Oh yeah. How does it go? That's right. (singing) Triple Dent Gum, it makes you smile-
Most: Gah!
Eggman: GET THEM OUT!!
Quickly, Gratling shoved Don and Scourge's gang toward the bounty hunters in disguise.
Gratling: Make them go, NOW!!
Nack: (German accent) Duncashe. (to the group) Move it.
Coconuts: See you guys later!
Grounder: And always remember Triple Dent Gum!!
They were pushed as the prisoners each shouted while the disguised hunters dragged the former prisoners away.
Random Prisoners: (randomly) See you, Santa. Take it easy, Santa. Remember to be safe.
Tron: Can we still get ice cream?
Psycho: (woman voice) Of course we can, but none for him.
Random Prisoner: We'll be good!
Don: Yeah, yeah.
Eggman: And remember your promise for my gift, Santa!
As soon as they were out of sight, the sergeant sighed a bit.
Gratling: Finally...had enough fake Santa cases for one year.
Jimmy: Come on. At least let's see some TV before we head out.
At that moment, when the TV at the corner was turned on, a familiar commercial, much to their horror, began playing.
Voice 1: Triple Dent Gum!
Voice 2: It makes you smile!
Most: AAAAUUUUGH!!
Outside the prison, Tron jumped happily with a grin.
Tron: (Chibi smiles) All right! Was that cool or what? "Is this the way government really works?" And they bought it! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, what a team.
Grounder: Yeah! (confused) What team are we?
Ansem: (sighs) That was close. Thank you, friends.
The disguises were removed with Psycho grinning.
Psycho: (normal voice) Don't thank us, thank Sleet for finding what we'll call the Inventory Box that Inez made that she made appear.
Inez: What? That's not my invention. Although it DOES seem like a good idea.
Nack: Don't you got one of your own, Psy? In that straight jacket of yours?
Psycho: That's...none of your damn business.
(Present)
Nack: That explains the Inventory Box.
Psycho: Seriously, we though Nezzie DID invent it.
Inez: I told you guys, it wasn't mine. (frowns) And don't call me Nezzie!
(Past)
Ansem looked at his watch, looking worried.
Ansem: Time is running out.
Nack: (grins) This is great. You are the most famous person I've ever met.
Scourge: (scoffs) Whatever. We're hitting the arcade.
However, the jacket was pulled, causing Scourge to fall down.
Psycho: Oh no. We busted you guys out, so do us a favor and help us help Santa.
Scourge: And what if we don't?
Nack: Then you leave us no choice. (pause) Psycho, Grounder, start singing.
Fiona: (panics) Holy crap, no!!
Grounder: Yay! We get to sing it again! (playing the guitar) Sing it!
Psycho: (singing) Triple Dent Gum!
Grounder: (singing) It helps you smile!
Rosy: AGH!!
Miles: Oh crap, no!!
Scourge: Okay, okay! We'll help! Just make them stop!!!
Nack smirks as he smacks Psycho away.
Psycho: Wheeeee!
Scratch grabs Grounder's guitar and smashes it over his head.
Grounder: (dazed) Thank you sir, may I have another?
Nic: (to Ansem) Wow...You're him: "Mr. Twinkle in the Eye", "Mr. Rosy Cheeks", "Mr. Ho-Ho"!
Dingo: Too right. I've got sugarplums dancing in my head as we speak.
Argit: (frowns) Dudes, chill out, will you?
Tron: Yeah, we just busted these guys out. Enough with the fake phony make believe.
Mr. Bump: (to Ansem) Whisperingly, she still doesn't believe in you.
Bloo: I do once he gives me what I want!
Tron: (scoffs) Get real. Nobody believes in Santa Claus.
Ansem: (points) Oh, she's been this way since that Christmas when I brought her a doll instead of a baseball mitt. I remember it like it was last year.
Tron: (frowns) It WAS last year!
Dingo: And you're only saying that because your dollhouse had a piece of coal on it!
Ansem: Yes, isn't that right...Tron Bonne?
Tron: (confused) Huh? How did...
She looked more confused while Ansem only smiled.
Ansem: I know a lot of stuff...including your missing sister Jenny.
Psycho: So THAT is your real name.
Tron: (holds her arm sadly) Yeah...
Don: (pauses) Am I missing something here!?
(End of Act 4)
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The hunters and friends find out Ansem is Santa and with disguises that Sleet discovered, they set off to help Ansem, the dumb bots, and more or less Don, escape from prison.
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Well, Ansem is out. Time to find Sora!