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KNS: The Beast with the Billion Feelers 9

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Chapter 9: Starro Confusion

The cult robes were removed before the robes were burned up.

Brock: We've been had, people.

Fluttershy: (panics) Starro's trying to kill us!

Twilight: I can't believe we're getting poisoned by it!

Max: Get him!

Mordecai: You mean "get sklem".

Rigby: Just get it and stop with this gag already!!

Everyone shouted and headed to the main eight, yelping as they realized.

Brock: AGH! Wait a second!

At that moment, each of them were punched and hit, trying to hit where Starro was.

Starro: Wait, stop! Please, let me explain!

Rigby: Explain this!!

He poked to where Starro's eye was, though hit Brock instead.

Brock: Ow! Stop beating us up already! Starro's not physically here!

Rigby: I can pretend he is with you, you sick perv! You and the ponies betrayed us!

Sailor Solaris: I said it's just poison, not the white stuff!

Rigby: Does that matter?!

Starro: Granted, at first I desired only to bang out a quick cheap one with your universe, (forces Brock up) but it's your own fault. Your universe dresses provocatively.

Muscle Man: Does not! (punches them) Traitors!

Benson: We should've let Lenny Baxter have you dumb ponies!

Most: YEAH!!

People: (randomly) Traitor! Whore! Slut!

Most chattered while brutally beating even Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie: OW! I'm not even WITH him!!

Twilight: (worried) The Anti thing is coming back! Everyone is against us again!

Applejack: Dang it. Ah don't know who brought us 'ta Starro but they must be feeling happy right now!

As they continued beating them up in fury, only Sunset stopped, noticing what seemed to be green essence, floating away as if taking the essence, outside the church.

Sunset: (to herself) What the-? What's going on?

Outside, unknown to anyone, the Dazzlings sang quietly while the essence went inside their pendants.

Adagio: (smirks) Man, humans today are so easy.

Sonata: Yeah! (confused) Easy with what?

Back inside, Starro looked concerned.

Starro: And yet as the initial filthy thrill wore off, I realized there was more to it. I knew then that many of you wanted something special...a friend.

Sylvia: We loved you, and you turn around and treat us like some sort of whores?

Sylvia was also punched.

Starro: I was lonely. I didn't even know there was anybody else.

Muscle Man: That's no excuse, traitor!

Starro: Come on! It's not like I hurt anyone.

Jinx: Yes, you did, you dumb calamari!

Starro: Who?

Jinx: The one formerly known as Kid Flash, my Fonfon Ru! If he hadn't tried to kill you, he'd still be alive!

Starro: (realizes) Oh yes. One of the Teen Titans.

Pinkie: It's like with Pinkademia!!

Starro: (surprised) Really? I'm... I'm deeply sorry. I...I'm a big clumsy jerk!

Fidget: I know you are, but what am I? He-he-he-he.

Starro: I can make it up to you! Just give me a chance to do so, please.

Rigby: Besides, you can't undo that because it's your own fault and you have to live with the guilt forev-

Starro: Actually, I CAN undo at least that.

Rigby: Wait, you can?

Starro: Just give me a chance to prove it please.

Rigby: Fine, but if it turns out you can't, we're killing you, Brock, and the ponies and turning them into cupcakes.

All: (glares) Whoa!!

Rigby: What? You guys wanted them dead in the first place, right?

Iris: Gross! Even we got standards!

Cilan: Honestly, Rigby?! Really?!

Benson: We may hate them, but...ugh, that's just dark. What's wrong with you!? I...(snaps) Just no!

Starro: Yes...all I need is a sample of DNA.

Everyone yelps, stepping back.

Starro: Uh, no, no, Not what you're thinking, the other way of getting DNA.

Pinkie looked at the piece of Pinkademia, pondering.

Pinkie: Hmmm...what about a Paradox-free resurrection?

Twilight: I don't think it works that way, Pinkie Pie...does it?

Starro: We'll try Kid Flash.

Jinx: Um...I have his lock of hair at least.

Nightwing: Well, let's see it then.

She showed the piece of hair. At that moment, the stars went around the DNA, flowing around while the DNA with stars glowed. After a few moments, a bright light flashed before down came someone. When they uncovered their eyes, they gasped, noticing a familiar figure, though with Nightwing placing a blanket and mask around his eyes before he or anyone could see his face.

Kid Flash: Uh...wha? What happened? And what happened to my clothes?

Jinx: (grins) You're alive!

The two hugged a bit.

Fidget: GAH! IT'S THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!

Fidget jumps through a window, breaking it while jumping out.

Starro: (sighs) No, no, he's alive. No zombie apocalypse.

Fidget jumps back in, with the window surprisingly being fixed as if by magic.

Sailor Mini Mars: Yeah, but it's kinda awkward.

Kid Flash: Awkward? What are you...why is...?

He began realizing, widening with disgust as he frowned.

Kid Flash: How could you!?

He turned away from her.

Jinx: (frowns) Come on, let me explain-

Kid Flash: There's no need. I know enough.

Starfire: Please, let her...

However, he zoomed away.

Starfire: Ooooh, how could they not let us explain!?

Raven: Some are just too stubborn to listen.

Starro: Please, please, give me another chance. We rushed into this too soon. Let's just start over...then see where our friendship goes.

Pinkie: You can at least clone me, right? I mean Pinkademia's DNA IS the same as mine.

She plucked a piece of her mane, then showed it to Starro.

Sailor Moon: All right. But that doesn't excuse your actions against the Justice League and the Teen Titans years ago!

Starro: That wasn't me. Centuries ago, there were more species just like me...but they have left my universe over the years, leaving me alone. Most of them either died out while the rest are the ones fought your Justice League and Teen Titans, those were the ones who turned evil who were either captured, trapped somewhere or killed off. I am the only one of my kind left.

Sailor Mars: I see...

Nightwing: Look, at least remove your stars on us. We don't want to be poisoned.

Starro: I wasn't poisoning you. I was trying to make you adapt to my universe. Besides, if I hadn't used my stars on your eight friends, they would've suffocated from the toxins in my universe.

Brock: Well, that explains why I was choking before.

Twilight: And it makes sense.

Jinx saw Kid Flash back in his costume, preparing to dart off.

Jinx: Come on, take me back.

Kid Flash: I don't think I can. How could you? My body wasn't even cold yet.

Jinx: You were dead.

Kid Flash: For about five minutes.

Jinx: I didn't move on if that's what you're thinking!

Kid Flash: And that's all it will take to break up with you.

He zoomed away with Jinx becoming worried.

Starfire: 5 minutes? Did time went fast all of the sudden?

Meanwhile, near Neo Amishro Park's Lake, the familiar figures were preparing their duel.

Random Robot: Whereas Chris has sullied the Phage's reputation by insinuating that he and his comrades are human-lovers, a duel is hereby engaged.

Vexus: Mr. Phage, as the offended party, shall have choice of weapon.

Phage: Let's see...

He looked at the boxes containing weapons.

Phage: What can harm a robot?

Grounder: Planetary annihilators.

Phage: (dryly) A gun, how cliche.

Grounder: Hey, Mega Man uses a gun!

The box opened with the two taking their guns.

Chris: 'Tis a grave and solemn day for the League of Machines.

Scratch: It's gonna be fun on the bun! (shouts) Who wants Soda Oil?

Bass: Each duellist will take 10 paces, pirouette, and fire like a madman.

Grounder: TONIGHT WE DINE IN ROBOT HELL!

Trixie: Both of you, take your paces.

Phage: (pacing) 1...2...3...

Grounder: Oh, how dreadfully exciting.

Scratch: (annoyed) Don't talk like you're a genius. It was bad enough it happened one time with you.

Grounder: (confused) Wait, I was a genius???

Meanwhile, at the mayor's place, in a meeting room, Sylvia looked seriously to the crowd.

Sylvia: At 0800 hours, we received the following transmission from Starro.

She pressed a button which started the answering machine.

Starro: Hey, it's Starro. He-he-he. Want to do something Friday? Call me.

The message ended.

Neo Queen Serenity: Analysis?

Twilight: Your Majesties, I think we need to seriously consider the possibility of going on this friend date.

Neo Queen Beryl: But as friends, got it? Most of us are married.

Celestia: I agree. Starro gives me a friendly comfort. And that's enough.

Most: Yeah.

Princess Luna: So where's Discord in all of this?

Twilight: He saw nothing happening to the universe before this entire mess started and took his vacation at the time.

Rainbow: (with an ice pack) Ugh, lucky him.

Kite: Very well, but no snacks on the first one.

Tidus: All in favor?

Most: I!!

Tidus: All opposed?

Fluttershy: Um nay.

Celestia: Motion is carried.

Most of everyone turns to Fluttershy who points to Fidget.

Fluttershy: It was him.

Fidget: What the crap! This is bogus!

Back at the duel, the two kept pacing.

Phage: 6...7...(snaps) 10!!

He turned and fired at where Chris was, destroying part of the robot's body along with some buildings, including a man with a wart, minus the wart. With the group, Chris groaned in pain with the serpent tossing his weapon down.

Phage: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!! Even if you ARE a robot, McClean, it's still hilarious to see this.

Scratch's Group: FINISH HIM!!!

Chris: He...he broke the rules! He and his comrades did!

Phage: First of all, it's a duel. Secondly, I was told to fire at 10, didn't I?

He kicked Chris all the way up, causing Chris to shatter, breaking to pieces.

Coconuts: WHOA!!

Grounder: YEAH! Phagie wins! He's given McClean Fatality!! Or Brutality. Either way, it works.

Adagio: Flawless Victory.

Vexus: Yes, there are scores of rules, all in this book.

She showed the book before the Phage, snatching the weapon once more, fired, destroying it.

Phage: Rules, schmules.

Later, the TV broadcast showed the mayor looking worried.

Mayor: My fellow Earthlicans, commence preparations for our night with Starro.

Bellum: Ahem.

Mayor: As in a friend date! Nope! I ain't attracted to him. Phew! Almost lost you folks.

As a montage was shown with the familiar Chipmunk Mexican Song heard, it showed Starro's stars holding presents. It then showed many shaving. It then showed each one talking with the star pieces during dinner. It then showed them dancing to "Jungle Boogie". Later, the stars and people were near their doors.

Stars: (Starro's Voice) I had a wonderful time.

Others: Me, too!

Back at the familiar league, Chris was being repaired as he stood in front of the fireplace.

Chris: I can't believe this! Teknophage, you've cheated, insulted and maimed me.

Phage: (not listening) Uh-huh.

Chris: And thoroughly destroyed our own secret headquarters in the process.

He pointed to the big hole on the building.

Grounder: Hey, it's easy to criticize.

Chris: I'm so disgusted by your loathsome behavior that I hereby resign from this imbecilic club and relinquish the presidency to you.

He removed his own medal, then placed it on the Phage.

Ayami: (gasps) Holy cow! You got promoted!

Phage: (grins) This is the best news I've heard all day.

Grounder: You're in charge now! YAY!! (to Chris) Can I get your autograph while I'm at it?

Back at the familiar building, the queens looked concerned.

Neo Queen Beryl: Everyone, we need a report. How did our friend date go?

Sylvia showed a file marked "Top Secret", tossing it to them.

Sylvia: Oh, it was really fun.

She showed the photos of the stars laughing and splashing friendly manner.

Sylvia: We went to a cute French place in the village. My lamb chop fell on the floor, but they brought me another one.

Pinkie: That thing took me to the volcano near Townsville. We stayed up late watching a Powerpuff Girls marathon.

Celestia: Okay, Starro showed us a good time. No one's denying that, but it hasn't offered our universe any kind of commitment, and it's 14 billion years old.

Princess Luna: That is too old to play the field.

Most: Yeah.

Many began arguing a bit.

Rigby: I can't stand this!

Tidus: Shut up! Shut up, you creepwads!

May: Brock, you're closer to Starro than anyone. What's the skinny?

Brock: I like him as a friend, but it's true, there's been no hint of a commitment. I don't know if can put my heart on the line again only to have it broken and stomped on like a nerd's face.

Neo Queen Serenity: All in favour of disowning and defriending Starro?

All: Aye.

Brock looked at his phone, then looked at Starro's picture, sighing as he deleted the calls list.

Brock: (looks down) Aye.

Mayor: Resolved. Our universe will dump Starro. How shall we break the news?

Maxfield: Let's just send a text message. Say we're going through some weird stuff right now.

Mordecai: No, we should at least deliver the news in person.

Twilight: Our universe has always tried to be classy.

Mayor: If there's one thing I'm known for, it's class.

Bellum: No you're not-

Mayor: (interrupts) Let's cut this turd loose.

Rigby: Uh, this sounds like we're breaking up with him as lovers.

Mordecai: No, just not talking with him like how Twilight's pals almost did when she accused the fake Cadance of being evil.

Twilight: Can we not talk about that please?!

Later, back at the familiar loading station, the familiar faces began heading to the space ship with the past members looking concerned.

Sailor Venus: Is it really wise to go to talk to Starro?

Sailor Mars: What other choice do they have?

At that moment, the familiar figures arrived with Trixie smiling.

Trixie: Greetings, everyone. The Great and Powerful Trixie and friends bring good news.

Rarity: Hi, you seem perky today.

Phage: Oh it was wonderful. And becoming a president of a league I'm not suppose to tell or discuss is grand. But we'll talk about it over a drink. Maybe a discount.

Sailor Mini Moon: We can't right now. We're going to the other universe.

Grounder: Great, I'll make Hot Pockets.

Marie: Grounder, you know robots can't go through the anomaly. Living beings only.

Trixie: (frowns) Oh, so now you're ditching Trixie to hang with some stupid star?! Trixie felt insulted!

Sailor Jupiter: Trixie, you're not a robot. It was to the robots only.

Phage: You mind if I tag along?

Neo Queen Serenity: No. We don't want you trying to conquer the universe.

Neo Queen Beryl: That's right, they explained it all.

Phage: Dammit!! (to Sailor Moon) You Meatball Head! Why did you tell them about me!?

Sailor Moon: Because you may WANT to try to conquer the other universe and it's bad enough that the universe wants this one. We don't need YOU to start doing that again!

Phage: Figures! You both are DAMN SELFISH WHORES!

Sailor Mars: Oh like YOU are!!

Future Sailor Mars: Besides, we'll talk with the universe first, THEN deal with getting you all back to your own time before a paradox happens like last time.

Rigby: Uh did Pinkie ever try to get Pinkademia-

It was too late as the ship closed and flew away from Earth, leaving the past ones along with Trixie's group behind.

Trixie: Trixie felt betrayed.

Phage: I know. They got some nerve to accuse me of conquering the universe when I couldn't in this timeline.

Ayami: They must be controlled by something or other.

Grounder: All I know is this thing I got is a waste of time!!

Finally, the dome closed before Grounder angrily took out a hot pocket, tossing it away.

Fidget's Voice: AGH! AAAAAHH! Mmmm, hot pockets that's burning me.

Grounder: Serves you right, you traitors!

Phage: (notices) Grounder, stop acting negative for a moment and look!

He pointed to the ground with the green essence from before flowing a bit from him.

Grounder: Uh...what's that?

Trixie: I don't know...strange...where has Trixie seen it before?

Later, the Phage looked seriously to the other machines and foes.

Phage: Too long have we been slaves to the mortals.

Trixie: They pretend to be our friends, but they're not 'cause they're too busy!

Freddy: So, what of it?

Bass: I think I know where this is going.

Phage: My fellow leaguie-weegies, the time has come to overthrow humanity!

Many of them gasped in shock.

Vexus: Interesting.

Gay Bot: Oh, now, Henry, I hate to defecate on your parade, but we have only a few dues-paying members and we're a rather fey and doughy lot. To overthrow humanity, we'd need a damned army.

Familiar Voice: Then a damned army we shall have!

They turned, noticing figures in the shadows with Vexus grinning.

Vexus: Ah...they have arrived. Mr. Phage...robots...Trixie...allow me to permit my comrades and the bosses.

Grounder: About damn time! I felt like this movie dragged on for too long!

Scratch: Like that Game of Thrones show!

The curtains opened, revealing what seemed to be familiar foes along with a familiar skeleton.

Vexus: Allow me and Bass to introduce you to our bosses...the Heartless version of Nightmare Moon, the comrades that have become Heartless themselves of that certain Kingdom Hearts incident, Dr. Marcel, Lord Brevon, Serpentine, Mammoth Mogul, Mr. Pinky Fox, Foxy Loxy Sr.-

Bass: We had a hard time finding this guy. Believe me.

Vexus: A mutant from Guala pond calling himself Zalard, and the last two are-

Phage: (shocked) Peepers and Hater!?

Lord Hater: (shocked) Phage?!

Both: What are you doing in the future?! Wait, you're from the past too?!

Lord Hater: How the crap did you even GET here?!

Phage: As it pains me to say it, it's a long story you'll never hear about.

Pinky Fox: Good riddance, Ah will say.

Foxy Loxy Sr.: I don't know why but I feel like coming here for payback!

Mammoth Mogul: Indeed. Let's just get to the details, shall we?

Pinky Fox: Aftah all, me nephew is done sharpenin' his axe as we speak.

Marcel: Yes, quite. Anyway, what we should propose is that we make a pact with the devil.

Phage: (dryly) Right, how cliche of you, Marcy.

Grounder: (waves) OH! OH! Let me do it! I know a great deal on how BL or Him or whoever can help us!

Lord Hater: Ungh...and I thought Wander was an idiot.

Peepers: But sir, you said so yourself that Wander outsmarts you and-

Lord Hater: (snaps/anger mark) I KNOW WHAT I SAID!!

In the pits of Hell, as many souls were screaming while being tortured, the familiar figure chuckled a bit cruelly toward Trixie's group.

Trixie: And so you see, we're not enough, but Trixie demands an army of the damned.

Him: (feminime voice) He-he-he. I rather think we could strike a deal, my friends. I shall give you your army of the damned, and in return I ask just one thing, just one itty-bitty thing.

Scratch: Anything. We'll cheat! We'll steal! Name the price!

Grounder: (panicked) But we don't got any souls for you to have!

Phage: No problem. We'll just steal the soul that's worth it and nobody even cares about.

Him: (chuckles) It shall be the soul...

Most: Yes?

Sonata: Come on, the suspense is killing me!

Him: Either the soul of a firstborn...or...

He smirked cruelly, pointing his claw toward Ayami.

Him: (evil voice) Her soul. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!

Ayami: Yipes!

Phage: (quickly) Uh firstborn it is!

Ayami: But what first born would we give away? I don't want to lose any children we have!

Most: Hmmm...

After a few moments, Hater gasped, grinning cruelly.

Lord Hater: I know just the one. I'll be right back.

In the field, a girl with blond hair and goth-looking clothes watched people playing before Hater spoke.

Lord Hater: (sing-songy) Oh Misa? Misa Amane?

Misa turned, yelping as she saw the skeleton.

Misa: Who are you?

Lord Hater: Someone that will damn you...(holds chloraform cloth) to HELL!!

Afterward, everything went blank. Later, Hater came back with a bag dragged by Peepers and the Watchdogs.

Lord Hater: One firstborn.

He snatched the corpse.

Lord Hater: This is for making Death Note bad with you in it!

He punted the bag with corspe to the flames, causing the entire thing to be covered in fire.

Zalard: Wow! That was pretty brutal, even by my standards.

Lord Hater: (to Him) No backsies.

(End of Chapter 9)
Starro makes a brief deal with an explanation on its last of the kind and later, after a friend date, the gang head to the other universe and as the other antagonists are introduced, a deal with Him is made.
Comments4
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Dragon222's avatar
Gust the truth did came out. Didn't knew Starro was alone all the time