literature

KNS: Mayored to the Magma 2

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Literature Text

(Act 2)

At a place marked "Bodyguard School", a drill sergeant glanced at the newcomers.

Sergeant: As a bodyguard, your only loyalty is to your protectee. Not to your family. Not to your country. Not to Moo-hammad.

Crow T. Robot: Even during Ramadan?

Sergeant: Shut your sass-hole, boy.

He showed the melons that were piled up before each one with names were given.

Sergeant: These melons represent your protectees. Throughout this course,you will protect your personal melon as if it was paying your salary.

However, the one melon Fuzzy had was eaten, before the pink beast noticed a few glancing.

Fuzzy: What?

Sergeant: Any questions before we continue?

Tom Servo: Yeah, are ya real or an ad? Because every time I meet someone, they keep shouting out stuff like an ad.

Sergeant: You'll get THAT question when we're through.

Later, it showed a melon on a podium with the sergeant using a scope gun glancing at Fuzzy.

Sergeant: Okay, listen up. My goal is to assassinate that watermelon. Your job is to take the bullet. Go!

Fuzzy gasped, running to it.

Sergeant: Go, go, go! (imitating gun) Pow!

Fuzzy jumped up, shouting in a slow motion-like stance as he blocked the melon.

Fuzzy: (monotonously) Nooo...

He crashed to the ground before the sergeant came up to the pink beast.

Sergeant: Well, your dive wasn't bad, but I just didn't believe your (shouts) "Noooooo!!". You gotta sell it! Remember, your (shouts) "Noooooo!!" is what gets you your next job. (points to the ground) Now drop and give me twenty!

Fuzzy: (panics) NOOOOOOOO!!

Sergeant: Better!

Fuzzy: AH AIN'T GOT 20 BUCKS! (pause) Can anyone owe me a 20?

Later, at the gym stadium, it showed everyone covered in melons with Amy and Raye looking bitter.

Sergeant: (frowns) You ladies are without a doubt the most sorrowful clique at the dance. Not one of you fit to guard a Russian rock band.

Many of them groaned.

Amy: Mine's would've been fine if some of us didn't collide when protecting the melons.

Jay: (eating melon remains) But it's worth it.

Sergeant: However, your checks have cleared, so you all graduate. Congratulations.

Most cheered happily.

Tom Servo: Wait, checks? We don't got any checks to-

Crow T. Robot: (quietly) SHHH! I mixed the IOUs with the checks. He'll never know.

Sergeant: (smirks) And, now, in honor of your achievement here is the theme song from the hit motion picture, The Bodyguard.

Tom Servo: (panics) It IS an ad! Run for it!

Crow T. Robot: RUN FOR THE HILLS, MA! IT'S THE SIGN OF A WAR!

Sergeant: (singing off key) And IIIIIIII will always love you

Quickly, many of them darted off.

Sergeant: Yee haw!

Outside the school, Lita began realizing something.

Lita: Uh guys, I hate to ask this, but don't we have school at this time?

Serena: (smiles) Oh don't worry. The mayor said we students get to do this as part of our after school club.

Vultureman: (glares) I hate you!

Fuzzy: An' Phage said Ah was fired 'til Ah is outta 'dis phase a'fore he got me in 'dis school.

Serena: (scoffs) He always fire you, but you always came back.

Mr. Tickle: You're lucky the Phage doesn't remember you too much, Fuzzy.

Vultureman: (dryly) Lucky you.

Later, at the Bagge residence, Fuzzy, donning a suit with ear mic and shades, looked around, then slid to the wall, glancing a bit.

Fuzzy: Clear.

Then, in came Julayla with a bag of food.

Julayla: Oh, for Pete's sake. This is what I get for being invited to a place you and your sibs stay in.

Fuzzy: (to the radio) 'De pig is in the poke.

Julayla: (frowns) You know, I really don't care for that code name.

Fuzzy: The monkey girl is a s200 degrees.

Julayla: I hope you're saying that I'm hot. (smiles) Because if so, I'm flattered.

At that moment, Courage began nearing Julayla.

Fuzzy: Look out, Jules! (darts to her) Dog!

He quickly grabbed her, causing Courage to yelp and dart away as the two fell.

Julayla: Ow. (pushes him off) Fuzzy, I know you're excited about starting a new job with better wage, but could you just relax for now?

Fuzzy then noticed Cherry and Berry arriving.

Fuzzy: Hold it. What's yur clearance?

Berry: Bro, come on. We just wanna get a snack.

Fuzzy: Access denied.

Cherry: But Fuzz-

Just then, the two were grabbed by part of the neck, yelping before falling down.

Fuzzy: 'Tank ya, Mr. Spock fo' leavin' 'dis technique before ya left us.

Julayla: For crying out loud, Fuzzy, I don't want you using your new sleeper hold on your sisters.

Fuzzy: Ah, don'ts worry none. They's be fine in half an hour.

Julayla: (frowns) Ugh. That's not the point. And another thing: I asked you to take out the garbage three days ago, and you still haven't-

Just then, the girl yelped, being Vulcan neck pinched, losing consciousness as she fell. After a moment, Fuzzy pondered a bit.

Fuzzy: Well, everyone is knocked out an' no one else is left 'ta take down so...

He checked the clock nearby.

Fuzzy: Hmm. Still half an hour till dinners an' Muriel gits on back. (shrugs) Oh, well.

He did the same thing to his neck, groaning before hitting part of the chair, yelping before he lost consciousness. Later, the mayor's limo was driven with Jay smirking.

Jay: I gotta say, dude, it's a real honor to be guarding your body, sir.

Crow T. Robot: AND have us involved in an episode.

Fuzzy: Uh yeah, kinda awkward aftah Ah done got elected an' became mayor o' Townsville an' such.

Raye: Still can't believe you were beaten by the mayor when you wore his hat.

Mayor: Hey, no one touches the hat, you know.

Serena: Just trust me when I say this: if I were mayor, you get to keep your hat.

Mr. Scatterbrain: And if I was mayor, I got my own hat. Though I don't remember where I put it.

Fuzzy: Are ya 'de Mayor or an ad, sir?

Mayor: Uhhh....

Fuzzy: Because if here an ad, Ah is gotta ad-block ya!

Serena: (yelps) Stop! He's the Mayor, the Mayor! He's too silly to be an ad!

Fuzzy: (pause) Okay, yew checked out, sir. Yew can never know when ads can pose as people!

Bellum: Just remember, you and the others represent the office of the mayor. So always comport yourself in a manner befitting-

Mayor: (gasps) Oh my gosh! (points) Quick, honk at that!

The horn was quickly honked where the sign said "Honk if you like candy".

Mayor: I like candy!

Bellum: (face palms) Ugh.

Mayor: Great job! I couldn't be happier with the way that went.

Later, at Bubs', the familiar figures entered the place together.

Bubs: Hey, Fuzz Butt, I told you not to come round here no more till you paid your tab, or at least cleaned up that mess you made in the bathroom that you-(realizes) That reminds me, Amy. Your wolf and fox pets had your name on their tab and since they're dead, you owe me a big sack of gold.

Amy: (sweatdrops) Bubs, I told you before: Spike and Welch weren't-

Mr. Tickle: (motioning) Come on in, mayor.

The mayor entered with Miss Bellum.

Bubs: (shocked) The mayor!? Ahem, Fuzzy, Amy, why didn't you two say you was with the mayor?

He looked at the bar patrons, using water spray on them while pushing them off the stools.

Bubs: Shove off, pukeholes! Get out of here. These stools are reserved for the mayor and his cronies.

Fuzzy: (glares) Move or we is accuse yew o' being ads!

Vultureman: They're not ads, you idiot!

As soon as the bar patrons were off, the group sat down on the bar stool before Bubs showed some bottles.

Bubs: And here's some nice "Amazingly Icy Ones", on the house of course.

Amy: Bubs, some of us don't-

Fuzzy only belched when he gulped his drink.

Fuzzy: (grins) Mmm, semi-imported.

Bubs: Right, no questions asked.

Fuzzy smiled a bit as he pointed to the bar.

Fuzzy: Keep 'em coming.

Bubs groaned a bit, showing the entire case of bottles with Fuzzy continuing on his first one.

Mayor: Wow. Your generosity is greatly appreciated especially during this health inspection season.

Bubs: Oh, yeah, yeah. Right. Health inspection. That reminds me.

He placed down some cash.

Bubs: Ha! Your change, sir.

They noticed some roaches darting with the wad of cash before Bubs quickly slammed the bugs down dead.

Bubs: (nervously) We're working on that roach situation. I swear to your God.

Mayor: (not noticing) Yeah, you should see the hospital.

Bellum: Ugh, this is unsanitary!

Amy: By the way, tear up the tab, please.

Bubs: Right, right.

He tore up the tab marked "Amy Mizuno" before most departed with Miss Bellum glancing.

Bellum: Still gross.

Crow: Are you sure this place is healthy?

Amy: And tear up any tabs for my dead pets, got it Bubs?

Bubs: (nervously) Right, right.

Mina: (ponders) Bubs, is what you're doing with that cash given to the mayor legal?

Bubs: (glares) Hey, I said "no questions asked"!

That evening, at the mayor's, the mayor smiled a bit while looking at the familiar figures eating dinner.

Mayor: And after Bubs', we went to my favorite restaurant and I got more change. Then, we ordered a single and I got a double and Fuzzy got a triple! Then, Mr. Bounce gave me lots of change for-

Bellum: Mayor, don't you see what's going on?

Vultureman: That "change" was a bribe.

Mayor: Oh, Miss Bellum and Nutsy, don't be so naive. That's how the world works. Sure I take some of these so-called "bribes", whatever they are, but I also make the trains run on time.

Jay: Uh technically, that's not true.

Amy: Jay's right. Trains are regulated by the federal Department of Transportation. And recent studies have shown that-

Quickly, Crow used the Vulcan neck pinch on her, knocking her out.

Julayla: Crow!!

Crow: She was questioning the trains, Miss Riley.

Later, at a place with a magma symbol, the familiar figures glanced at the place with Fuzzy only eating and the mayor shaking hands with a red hair man.

Mayor: And the job's done, Maxie.

Maxie: Thank you, Mayor, for honoring us with the school milk concession.

Mayor: Well, the good children of this city need their milk, and I need my you know what, whatever it is.

Maxie: Please accept this kickback as a token of our esteem.

He showed a bag to him.

Mayor: Thank you, Maxie. However, in the future I would prefer a nondescript briefcase to the sack with a dollar sign on it.

He took some of the coins out.

Mayor: Hope this is chocolate.

As a purple hair girl was glancing at her Pokeball, Mr. Tickle looked at the fat boy nearby.

Mr. Tickle: So, how'd you get the name "Tabitha"?

Jay: Yeah, isn't that a girl's name?

Crow: He-he-he-he. Who names a guy with that name?

Tabitha: I oughta slug ya if you weren't a bodyguard! Courtney, say something!

Courtney: (shrugs) Meh.

Mr. Scatterbrain: (notices) Whoo! Mini cannoli.

Serena: I got it!

Just then, a rat snatched the cannoli, darting off.

Serena: (frowns) Hey, I called that.

She darted after the rat.

Serena: I saw it first. Come back here.

She stopped near the hole near the "Milking Room" door.

Serena: Ooooh!!

Raye: (notices) Looks like the milking room's nearby.

Vultureman: Well my family needs the milk, so...

He opened the door as he spoke.

Vultureman: Caw! I hope you cows are decent.

Just then, the vulture screamed in fear as he noticed.

Vultureman: AHHHH!!

The guards with him looked inside.

Jay: Dude, what's wrong?

Tom: What's with the scream?

They gasped, noticing, to their horror, many female rats being used like cattle.

Mina: (panics) Crap on a crust!

They watched as the rat milk was poured in the tub.

Fuzzy: AHHH! They're milking rats. (darts off) MILKIN' RATS!!!

Serena: Now I'm REALLY worried about the guys back in school.

Lita: (sweatdrops) Good thing we took today off as an excuse to work here.

Amy: (worried) We gotta get to the school, now!!

Crow: With a principal like that, I doubt he'll believe you.

Fuzzy: Quick! Let's do a jump cut!

As soon as they were gone, the mayor looked angered.

Mayor: (glares) Rats? I'm outraged.

Maxie: Come on, mayor!

Mayor: No way. You promised me mice or higher to do the cow milking.

At Tokyo Academy, the gang entered, noticing many students noticing the "Team Magma" symbol with the students drinking the rat milk.

Raye: (disgusted) I feel sick looking at this.

Mina: What will Mickey's dad say about this?!

Lita: Or Professor Ratigan?

Vultureman: (panics) Gah! This is disgusting!

At that moment, Fuzzy noticed Marie about to drink the milk with her straw, quickly slapping it down.

Fuzzy: (panics) Marie, no!

Marie: Hey! My milk. I traded my math book for that.

Sammy: (notices) Serena, guys, what are you doing when you called in sick?

Most: (glares) Crow!!

Crow: Hey, that was technically a "day off" to give you more time to hang with us.

Amy: That's not helping!

Mr. Scatterbrain: I'll say. Those moms are gonna be real sore if their rat kids don't get their good dose of milk.

Amy: Better not let Ratigan and Kate know you said that.

Raye: They didn't even get married or have a kid yet!

Rini: (arriving) Serena, guys, what a nice surprise.

To their notice, they saw Rini with the rat milk mustache grinning.

Serena: Ick!

Raye: Rini, what kind of milk is that?

Rini: I don't know, but it tastes good.

Quickly, the carton was snatched away.

Mr. Tickle: No, you can't drink that stuff!

Vultureman: They're uh...health food milk that's expiring.

The three yelped, quickly backing from the carton that was snatched.

Fuzzy: Kids, I don't want y'all drinking any mo' milk ever.

Cherry was heard cheering happily.

Lita: (shouts) Not now, Cherry!

Rigby: Can I still drink it?

Fuzzy: (tosses it) Go nuts.

Rigby: All right! Better than goat's milk.

Mr. Tickle: I hope you weren't referring to Toriel.

Rigby: No, why?

The raccoon took the milk, drinking it and making the group wince.

Most: Ick.

Later, at the mayor's office, the mayor was running on treadmill wearing sports clothing before the door opened.

Tom: You monster! How could you do that to the children?

Mayor: (shrugs) Those wacky gangsters. What are you gonna do? I mean they DID get the rats to milk the cows, right?

Jay: No, that's basically like drinking a lady's **** and such!

Mr. Scatterbrain: And to think I respected you and defended you.

Mayor: (confused) You did?

Fuzzy: Ha! Ya wouldn't even be alive if it wasn't for me!

He unintentionally slapped the "fast" button, making the treadmill go faster with the mayor yelping, trying to run before he screamed, twirling around from it before he crashed outside.

Most: Gah!

Fuzzy: (nervously) Okay. We'll call it even.

(End of Act 2)
The Senshi and friends with Jay, Bob, Crow, and Tom commence with being the mayor's bodyguards, learning about the mayor being bribed and later on, finding out Team Magma is giving out Rat Milk to the students!
Comments1
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JusSonic's avatar
Yikes! Fuzzy is in trouble now! Good work.