Outside the mall, the crowd became furious while growling. As that was happening, none of them noticed some shadows passing by them. Inside, Daffy looked stunned.
Daffy: Song Knight, they're about to open the mall! What are you doing?!
Melody: I am no longer a Videlectrix girl! I let my friend get grounded, but today I will give him a Retranox!
Daffy: Mel, the stupid controllers sucks and you know it!
Melody: It doesn't matter anymore! If my brother can't have it, he can have mine instead. I mean what good is it to have a console when my brother never wants to speak to me again? At least this way I'll be able to make it up to him. It's over, Daffy.
Pointy Hair Boss' Voice: Oh it's not over yet.
At that moment, the familiar pointy hair boss with employees came.
Pointy Hair Boss: Looks like I came just in time. And I DO love weddings. (notices) Why am I holding a toy gun?
Daffy: (grins) Oho! The boss! Sweet! In your face, jerk!
Just then, Varrick with his crew arrived.
Varrick: You will not interfere, Videlectrix! These children will get their Retranoxes!
Cyborg: (horrified) Wait a minute. How the hell did these two guys end up here?
Beast Boy: (horrified) I don't know! But it's terrible! I didn't even WANT to get a Super Fun Machine! I just wanted to give Cyborg an early Christmas present!
Cyborg: And I didn't want a Retranox either! I only want Beast Boy to HAVE his present early!
The two paused, then looked at one another.
Beast Boy: You mean...
Cyborg: You didn't even want...
Digit: Wait a minute. They're not a part of your betrayal?
Melody: No. They're not a part of your betrayal?
Daffy: No. Whose betrayal is this?
Phage's Voice: THAT would be us!
The chains were locked before they noticed the leaders of Team Spicer with Dogbert and, to their shock and surprise, Sonik with Pinky nearby.
Ryan: They're the traitors?!
Digit: Didn't see that coming.
Sonik: It's NOT a betrayal!
Daffy: Wait a minute, how the crap did you get out of being grounded?
Sonik: Simple. I told Mirage that it was you who trespassed Carl Frederickson's garden and ambushed me to take the heat. Amazingly, she believed that. I guess she hated you.
Daffy: GRRR! CURSE YOU, CAT GAMBLER!!
Sonik: That doesn't matter. We're done with betrayal! It's time to put an end to this!
Melody: (shocked) Brother?
Back in the mall, a guard rushed up as he spoke to Sylvia.
Worried Guard: Sir? Sir, Operations just said they need one of us to unlock the door to Freddy's to let some wedding party inside the mall!
Sylvia: Screw them! They'll have to fend for themselves!
Alejandro: Wait. Freddy Wedding? Who's getting married?!
Worried Guard: Some schmucks named Mr. Happy and Miss Sunshine.
Alejandro: But I thought they had family feuds between their own families.
Sylvia: That's their problem, not ours!
Fidget: Yeah, (glances) and Professor Ratigan heading there where he with the others just came in are trying to get them to fight to the death or something.
Sylvia gasped, looking at where Fidget pointed with fear, gasping as she looked horrified.
Sylvia: Holy crap! Not my divine professor!! There are people that DO like him! (darts off) I've gotta save him from the carnage!
Shego: Get back here!
The Team Spicer and KNS members that were guards departed, leaving the few surviving guards behind.
Tidus: (pauses) Uh I should go check as well.
Alejandro: Uh yes. Ling-Ling is there and Minimus wouldn't forgive me if she dies.
The two darted away. Back in the restaurant, Sonik looked seriously.
Sonik: I appreciate what you're trying to do, sis, but I have a better idea!
Melody: This doesn't involve feeding some of us to the robots, is it?
Sonik: No way, this one is less gross and plus, there isn't enough suits to go around anyway. (pause) And before anyone ask, NO. I wasn't considering it before I came up with this idea.
He walked toward the crowd as he spoke.
Sonik: This isn't our war, you guys! It never was.
Ratigan: The fox explained that you've been pitted against each other by two companies for the sake of marketing. That's why they want lines around the block.
Dogbert: Yeah, I figured when I was taking over both companies.
Most: (shocked) You own both companies?!
Dogbert: (shows a card) Diplomatic Immunity.
Dilbert: How did you get to be a diplomat?
Dogbert: I was one of the few people who applied to Bubs'.
Phage: Yes, we sort of neglected to tell you that.
Carl: AUGH! What the crap, jerks?!
Ratigan: Hey, if we told you that, you wouldn't shut up about it.
Carl: You're still jerks!
Sonik: As I was saying, we're fighting, (pointing) because the two presidents...they want a war to promote their products. They don't give a crap what kind of friendships they cost.
Mr. Happy: (gasps) Just like Yuki, Dan, and all the others!
Miss Sunshine: And what's worse, I think there's some sort of hypnosis or evil dark thingy Raye tells me about involved.
Carl: Yeah, I kinda figure that out when the dark aura crap. I mean, raise your hands. How many of us are immune to hypnotism?
Carl glanced at only a couple of confused people raising hands.
Carl: Confusions don't count, people.
Sonik: (to Varrick & Pointy Hair Boss) You want a war so bad, then you ****ing fight!
Daffy: Watch it in front of the kids AND killer robots.
Pointy Hair Boss: Okay, but I'll fight if I choose how to fight...whatever way I choose it...which I don't know which.
Melody: I understand these guys here, but why bring Pinky?
Sonik: (meekly) I uh...I told him there was gonna be bets on the final fight.
Dogbert: (annoyed) Oh, let me fight!
Dogbert takes out some sort of lightsaber and turns it on.
Dogbert: I am more experienced than him anyway.
As a fake sword was given to Varrick, Dilbert looked concerned.
Dilbert: Are you sure you want to fight him?
Dogbert: If Yoda can fight in this stature, then so can I. (to Varrick) There's only one rule: winner takes all.
Rigby: Oh dude, this is pretty sweet.
Varrick: Then let this be your last fight.
Dogbert: Now, are you ready?
Varrick: (notices) Wait, my sword is a fake sword!
Dogbert: Too late.
He was kicked to the ground.
Wally: Five bucks on the bitch!
Alice: (anger mark) What?!
Wally: I meant the dog.
Dogbert jumped, hitting Varrick a few times with Varrick being slapped around the face. The crowd, looking stunned, watched the unarmed man being hit with Dogbert glancing.
Dogbert: You don't seem to be really fighting back, are you?
Varrick: If I had powers in another lifetime, I'd hit you at least!
Dogbert: (slyly) Talk to the hand.
A few laughed while Takato's group, oblivious to the commotion, finally arrived.
Carl: That's actually pretty funny.
Jack: Hey, fellas. What did we miss?
Back at the main entrance, the tattoo obsessed man showed more of the tattoo.
Tomino: Look at this! Judge it by its size? Rub it three times and it has a surprise.
Man: UGH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ASSHOLE ANYMORE!!!
Just then, a familiar serpent in hood slammed to the ground, glaring as Tomino shivered in fear.
Tomino: Holy crap!! It's a monster!!
Snakelord: (hisses) THAT'SSS IT!! You're not delaying thisss anymore, you tattoo-fetish ssson of a bitch!
He slashed at the tattoo, causing the man's bones to be shown, then the head being slashed while the crowd obliviously cheered. Finally, up came the Death Busters with Kaorinite speaking, showing a blade of a sort.
Kaorinite: Presented by the Death Busters...let the shopping AND your souls to be stolen...
The ribbon was slashed before the entire mall, minus Freddy's, glowed darkly as did the cheering crowd with all their eyes dulling.
The crowd cheered while the Death Busters gleefully passed by the foes, none of them even shoving or hitting the foes waiting outside, whom chuckled.
Dr. Facilier: (smirks) He-he-he. All according to plan...
Snakelord: Nothing but time travel can fix this mess.
Red Guy: Ha-ha-ha! I'm GLAD that I looked at the will first before that stupid reptile to write down and make sure that there will be NO WAY of travelling there! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!! Oh, fetching day for me. And best part is...it was the monkey's blood that worked so well.
Inside, the crowd broke through many glasses while rushing up to the worried workers before they solemnly held hands, knowing the inevitable about to come.
Lady Guard: Happy holidays, Rick.
Rick: And to you, Annie.
Finally, the crowd slashed, killing the guards. As the crowd darted through many stores, in came the remaining foes, watching the madness and people slaughtering one another.
Red Guy: (pointings) 25, 26, 27...
At a toy store, the crowd broke through the store while punching and shoving glass at the rivals. Each one was heading to the Retronaux, Super Fun Machine, Stop Torturing Me Elmer, and other toys. However, for most of them, minus Bubs', unknow to any of them, heart crystals popped out of people with the bodies fallen and the bodies run over, killing the bodies. All while a mother and daughter tried reaching for one.
Mother: (panics) Grab it Karla! Grab it-
She was batted on the head, dropping her daughter while falling dead with Heart Crystal popped out. More people were hit and killed while the fat woman shouted.
Fat Woman: Kiss my fat butt!
More people struggled with the items as they glared.
Kid: (snaps) Gimme that camera! Give it up!
People were trying to line up on the lines while a few more rushed in. As more and more were killing and hitting one another, unknown to Bubs, he was crawling to the top of the tree before noticing Sylvia's group shoving their way pass the crowd.
Sylvia: Get back! Get out of my way!
She fired, killing a few people.
Bubs: Psst, up here, guys! It's a great way to stay safe!
They quickly got to the top of the tree with Sylvia frowning.
Sylvia: How come you aren't injured?
Bubs: I've been through Black Fridays before and I know how to stay safe.
She groaned before noticing the cell phone ringing.
Sylvia: (to the phone) Hello? (pauses) Oh, it's you. Fidget, your dumb cat gambler needs you.
It was tossed with Fidget speaking to it.
Mirage's Voice: Fidget, I want to ask you: Did you know the fox we were looking after is SUPPOSED to be grounded and he snuck out of his way to go to Freddy's by tricking me to think Daffy was there too?
Fidget: I dunno. Did you get distracted with gambling problems again?
Mirage's Voice: I don't have a gambling problem!
Fidget: Yeah, yeah. Listen, I got enough problems on my hands without your nagging. Just deal with it later!
Mirage's Voice: Ugh, just put Drakken on the phone!
Drakken took the phone quickly.
Mirage's Voice: There is another concern: Jack was ALSO supposed to be grounded, but he snuck away to get some writer of a stupid Gundam crossover series no one cares about as well as snuck to Freddy's. Did you know about that?
Drakken: (horrified) WHAT!? JACK'S IN THE FREDDY'S WEDDING TOO?? OH HOLY CRAP!!
Shego: (shocked) WHAT?! What the crap, Jack! What the crap!!
Back at the restaurant, Varrick was being slapped by himself forcefully by Dogbert using his arm.
Varrick: Agh! AHHHHH!! (pauses) Although it doesn't hurt as much, but (panics) HIS hitting can be annoying!
Dogbert: Meh, this isn't working. Pinky, I think it's time for Plan B.
Dilbert: I'm afraid to ask but what is Plan B?
Pinky grinned darkly while showing a remote control.
Pinky: He-he-he. 'De best part o' it is...I is gettin' paid a big salary fo' 'dis.
He pressed the button, causing the robot animatronic eyes to start activating, glaring at where Varrick was.
Dogbert: Don't kill him, just make him suffer until he admits defeat.
Mordecai: Yikes! Not again!
Rigby: Anyone who doesn't wanna be stuffed in a suit, get out of the way!
Varrick shivered as the machines headed toward Varrick. As everyone else jumped out of the way, inside, Varrick's screams were heard. Outside the building, Bubs' group looked concerned.
Bubs: Here, let me take a whack at that lock. I know a great way to get inside.
The bat yelped, being grabbed. All while inside, as more people were fighting, Snakelord looked bored.
Snakelord: Ungh, enough of this! I'm finishing them all here right now before the cops show up!
Yuki: (arriving/different voice) Then do it! Let's test out your power.
He nodded before glowing darkly as the Witches 5 and Death Busters members looked at him with the serpent having glowing dark eyes.
Snakelord: BRAIN GRAB!!
Screams were heard with blood splatters all around. After a few moments, all the surviving shoppers and most workers, minus the game store, fell dead with all the Heart Crystals being snatched by nets.
Snakelord: Forgive me, but none of these have either of the talismans...the prince and princess we made the two, on the other hand...THEY could be the ones.
Kaorinite: Right. After all, when the time comes, their TRUE hearts would show and possibly the talismans as well.
Yuki: That's so perfect. After all...
As she stepped by a fountain, the reflection showed her true form being a dark haired mouthless white skinned pupiless red eye youma with horns on her crown, feelers on her arms through light purple gloves and herself in a blue bodysuit.
Yuki: I WAS once from a vast kingdom before it was destroyed and us Youma had nowhere to go.
Dr. Facilier: And it's worth it...Thetis.
The youma in disguise grinned cruelly. Inside, Varrick screamed, trying to struggle as the robots tried shoving him.
Varrick: AHHHH! OKAY! OKAY! I give! Danbai Camno is yours! Uncle! Uncle!
Everyone watched in horror as Dogbert paused.
Dogbert: Well...all right. You caught me in a good mood anyway. (to Pinky) Release him.
Pinky: What?! (frowns) But what 'bout me pay?
Dogbert: I'll give you double from (points to Varrick) whatever he has left in his account.
Pinky: Fine...but Ah was hopin' he'd reconsider INSIDE 'de suit.
Dogbert: Not my style. Remote.
The remote was given before he pressed the button, shutting the robots down with Varrick finally fainting to the ground with the crowd watching with stunned reactions.
Asok: And THAT is why Mr. Dogbert is one of the greats.
Dogbert: You can stop looking horrified. It's over. Videlectrix wins.
Daffy: (flatly) Yay, Fun Machine wins.
Some: (flatly) Yay.
Just then, they heard window crashing before turning, noticing Fidget groaning in pain while tied and gagged like a cannonball. The crowd then looked at the panting Sylvia and comrades nearby.
Drakken: Jack! You're alive! We saved you!
Sylvia: It's okay, Padriac! (falls to her knees) The fight's over! You can still shop!
Dilbert looks out through the window and yelps.
Dilbert: Ick, but you may have to watch your step. There's corpses and blood out there.
Wally: I'm taking my chances.
He darted off while Sylvia fainted to the ground, annoying Tidus.
Alice: Well I'm not missing my sales.
Asok: Me either.
Dilbert: (to the crowd) Sorry you had to see that. I uh, hope you weren't TOO traumatized.
Dogbert: Okay, people, it's time. Go get the Fun Machine.
Sylvia: (opens her eye) Ugh, and I am thinking of quitting this job. No cash is worth this carnage.
Pointy-Hair Boss: (arriving) Hey everyone. Look at these bargains I found. Plus so many delectable stuff, you can practically steal some!
Slowly, the role players departed, walking solemly, passing by many corpses with blood splatter all over.
Varrick: (sits up) Um...is there anything I can do for you, Dogbert?
Sylvia: (smiles) At least you're safe, Professor.
Ratigan: (glares) Don't touch me.
Meanwhile, with the role players, the group continued through the pool of blood before passing by dead shoppers. Finally, they came to where many dead shoppers were before noticing a man on register, unharmed and still alive.
Clerk: Happy holidays, guys. What can I interest ya in?
Ryan: (flatly) We'd like to get the Super Fun Machines please.
Clerk: (gives a thumbs up) Good choice!
Clerk: You're the first ones in here. It was Hell out there.
Some time later, back outside the mall, the disguised Youma looked at the camera with some familiar figures rushing with obviously stolen mall stuff.
Yuki: (stereotype voice) Dan, the shopping frenzy is over, and it looks like Videlectrix's new Super Fun Machine is this year's hot item. No doubt this will secure its place as the go-to next-gen retro console. Black Friday is over. There's been death, violence, horrible human behavior...(smirks) and the big winner here, decidedly, is Good Day Tokyo.
Red Guy's Voice: (sing-songy) And UUUUUUUS!!
Yuki: (annoyed) Shut up, Lance Sackless.
Back in a familiar HQ, the scarred familiar faces were playing on the Super Fun Machine.
Daffy: The interface is pretty cool.
Bowser Jr.: See, I told you guys, it's really a...it's a seamless interface.
Some: Yes, it is.
Rigby: The graphics are defintely like 10% better than the old one.
Digit: Yeah that's um...that's pretty nice.
After a few moments, Bugs noticed something odd.
Bugs: Eh, Daffy? Is there something you want to tell us?
Daffy: Yeah...two things. 1, people keep mentioning about Mr. Perfect something. I don't know what it is.
Vlad: Mr. Perfect shape human, like Dillydale people.
Bugs: And the second?
Daffy: Just this one question...You guys wanna p-play outside or something?
They looked stunned, looking at Daffy walking to the backyard with them following. As that happened, only Hotaru noticed something odd.
Hotaru: (to herself) Where are Thomas and Meg? And where are Haruka and Michiru at?
Ryan: Daffy? Your side won, dude. Why are you so sad?
Daffy: I just...I don't know.
Bugs: (sighs) Daffy, as your friend and roommate, I ask you as a friend: please tell the truth on what's hurting ya.
Daffy: Two things. One, I got something biting in me.
Bugs: (notices) Well, that explains it. You got a bug in your tail feathers.
Daffy saw a bug biting in his tail feathers then knock it off.
Bugs: Now what's the other thing?
Daffy: I just can't get the image of Dogbert force slapping the guy or even when he ordered the fat jerk to stuff Varrick. Him screaming, trying to get away. Would've been worse if he died.
Mordecai: Yeah, I know what you mean. Well look, guys, Videlectrix won the console wars, I mean, what are we gonna do? Not play video games?
Rigby: Or even care about them anymore?
Ryan: Daffy's right: The last couple of weeks we've been too busy to play video games and...look at what we did.
Jesse: He's right. There's been drama, action, romance...I mean honestly you guys, do we NEED video games to play?
Rigby: Ye...well, maybe...damn. I hate hard questions.
Some: (randomly) I guess. Not really. Kinda. You make a good point, though.
Ryan: Maybe we started to rely on game companies so much that we forgot that all we need to play are the simplest things.
Jesse then noticed a stick, which, unknown to any of them, glowed a strange aura with the girl picking it up, showing it.
Jesse: You mean like this?
Ryan: Yeah, we could just play with this!
Mordecai: Plus, whenever we go near those things, they make us feel funny.
Daffy: Then Screw video games, dude! Who needs them?!
Crowd: (grins) Yeah!
Ryan: (shows the stick) YEAH! **** THEM!
Rigby: Augh, if we would've known this lesson then instead of now, this NEVER would've happened.
Phage: (glances) By the way, your families called about departing from Mr. Perfect's Megastore, which I went to earlier before seeing this brawl. Did you know he had a 100% discount for 500 people shopping?
Most: (shocked/angrily) WHAT!?
Carl: (snaps) That's what Tidus and I tried to tell you all before: Mr. Perfect was giving discounts at 100% there!
Many of the role players and ones that didn't go started twitching a bit.
Ryan: You serious?
Jesse: You mean to tell us...
Mordecai: All this time...
Rigby: We could've gotten anything, INCLUDING the consoles, for free?
All (but Carl): (in agony) AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!
Rigby: Ugh! Now I REALLY wish Minimus was alive! What idiot killed him off in the first place?!
As they groaned in agony, unknown to any of them, the dark prince and princess glanced at them.
Haruka: So now they have the stick.
Michiru: Yes...and soon...despite their pointlessness, a new war...
As Ryan angrily bashed the ground with the dark glowing stick, the two glanced at the scene.
Michiru: Will be coming before Christmas...
Narrator: The upcoming Stick of Disharmony...coming soon.
Coconuts pops in, frowning.
Coconuts: Yeah? If you believe that, I got a tattoo to show ya!
To Be Continued...in Kouja no Senshi: The Stick of Disharmony.
(ED: I Am Sailor Moon by Peach Hips)