A/N: Most of the episode is non-canon with parts of it taking place after Something Wall-to-Wall Mart This Way Comes.
(OP: Sakura Saku by Megumi Hayashibara)
Kouja no Senshi: The Side Stories
Between Season 2 & 3
Terror Tales of the Park 2~KNS Style
Inside Skips' vehicle, driving through the woods, the familiar faces in their costumes looked down the road.
Bowser: Ugh, are we even there yet?
Skips: We've only been on the road for a few minutes.
Muscle Man: (Abe Lincoln) Man, I can't wait to get to the party. (to Hi-Fives) It's going to be all like "What's up, Mr. President?"
The two laughed and hi-fived one another.
Hi-Fives Ghost: (Fake mustache) Yeah.
Muscle Man: You know who else is like "What's up, Mr. President?" My mom!
Benson: (Pirate) Muscle Man, enough.
Ryan: You too, Tomo. Ugh.
Pops: (Mummy) Do you think they'll have snacks?
Mordecai: (Frankenstein's Monster) It's the biggest Halloween party in town, Pops. They'll have all the candy you can eat.
Rigby: (Beef Burrito Man) Yeah, but all the good stuff will be gone before will get there! This drive is taking forever!
Jesse: (glances) What does the map say?
Benson: (looks at the map) The map says it should be right around here.
Muscle Man: (to Thomas) Stop reading the map wrong, Thomas! You're gonna get us lost!
Peter Griffin: He's got a point, jerk!
Thomas: (Lone Ranger) I don't even have the map!
Muscle Man: You shut it, Thomas! What did I tell you about talking to me?
Thomas: But you-
Peter Griffin: (punches him) Shut up, Goat Meg! No one likes you!
Benson: Leave him alone, Muscle Man, he's just an intern. It's bad enough he doesn't get paid.
Thomas: (confused) Wait, you guys are getting paid?
Jesse: Yes, but after what happened at Exit 9B, we have to use that money to pay for the damage of Amishiro Park.
Mordecai: Yeah, luckily for me and Rigby, we get paid less.
Skips: (Dracula) Benson, you sure you know where we're going? I haven't seen a house for miles!
Benson: It's fine, I know what I'm doing.
He flipped the eyepatch to the other eye.
Rigby: (groans) I'm dying of boredom back here.
Strong Bad: Yeah, me too!
Pops: We could pass the time with a game of "I Spy".
Rigby: No way. You got carsick the last time we played that.
Homestar: Oh, I got an idea: How about a game of poker?
Strong Bad: No, Homestar. First off, there's no ladies here.
Bowser: And secondly, you don't even HAVE the cards.
Mordecai: I know! (sing-songy) How about some scary stories?
Peter Griffin: Finally, something not crappy and time wasting.
Benson: (looks back) No. Pops can't handle it.
Pops: Oh nonsense, I'll be fine.
Ryan: Why can't he handle it?
Benson: Because Pops gets scared sometimes.
Stewie: (glares) Hey loser! I get scared sometimes, but you don't see ME complain about it!
Benson: (sighs) Okay. (to Mordecai's group) But if he gets scared, you two are in serious trouble.
Rigby: (rolls eyes) Yeah, yeah.
Mordecai: (chuckles) All right. It all started at the Bowling Alley on a dark and stormy night...
(Segment 1: Payback)
Inside a bowling alley called "Stardust Lanes", the familiar faces were playing a free-for-all bowling with an older blu-jay with brown semi long hair and a bowling tie watching with a grin. The group watched Mordecai make a strike on the lane.
Mordecai: WHOAAAAA!? That's game!
The others muttered in annoyance.
Blu-Jay: Ha-ha. Yeah, you show them how you roll them, Mordy. (waves) 'Eeeeeyyyyy!
Mordecai: (laughs nervously) He-he-he-he. Yeah, thanks, Uncle Steve.
Muscle Man: Man, forget this! You already won three games in a row! (points to Uncle Steve) Plus, your weirdo uncle is making me uncomfortable with his lame tie.
Uncle Steve: Just dressing for the occasion, man, don't act like you're jealous of this.
He pulled his tie, which lit up.
Tomo: I gotta agree: it DOES make me want to bail.
Muscle Man: (glares) Traitor! (to Hi-Fives) Come on, Fives, let's bail.
Rigby: Yeah, let's go, Mordecai.
Mordecai: Aw, come on, one more game. Or are you guys afraid to lose?
Stewie: Depends on who the loser is: you or the whores walking out the door?
The men looked insulted as they frowned.
Muscle Man: No way, bro.
Rigby: Oh, it is on.
Mordecai: Ha ha, yeah-a.
Serena: Hey Uncle Steve, you down to play another game?
Uncle Steve: I don't know kids, I'm kinda low on fundage. (points to the tie) This tie wasn't cheap, you know.
Mordecai: (grins) It's cool, Uncle Steve, I got five bucks.
Uncle Steve: Oh no, Mordy, I couldn't.
Mordecai: Don't worry about it, you can pay me back later. I know you're good for it.
Uncle Steve: Okay, I promise I'll get you back.
The cash was given to him.
Mordecai: (grins) Yeah-a, game on! (posing) Uh-uh-uh-uh! (ala Michael Jackson) Hee-hee!
However, as Uncle Steven prepared to take the ball, Mordecai bumped to the older bird, causing him to land on the ball return. Just then, the bird's tie was caught in it.
Uncle Steve: Oh no, my tie!
Mordecai: (panics) Uncle Steve!
Stewie: (frowns) Oh crap!
The bird screamed, being sucked inside as they tried grabbing him.
Uncle Steve: AHHHH-
Some time later, at a graveyard, a tree was pushed in it while the familiar duo and friends looked saddened at the grave of Uncle Steve while the females and bird placed the flowers on the grave
Mordecai: (saddened) I can't believe he's gone. This is all my fault! If I hadn't pressured everybody to play that extra game, my uncle would still be alive.
Rigby: Ah, don't talk like that man. Life just does its thing, you know? If I were you, I'll be more upset about losing the five bucks. (gets punched) Ow!
Jet: Not helping, dude.
Storm: I betcha he's in a better place now.
They frowned to him.
That night, in Mordecai and Rigby's room, the bird struggled while sleeping in his bed.
Mordecai: My fault...It's all my fault.
In the dream world, Mordecai was with his uncle whom was given the cash.
Mordecai: (sing-songy) Yeah-a!
The bird gave the cash to his uncle before he turned with Mordecai doing the familiar dance.
Mordecai: (ala Michael Jackson) Hee-hee!
At that moment, he bumped to his uncle, whom struggled and yelp.
Uncle Steven: WHOA!!
He finally fell down into the ball return with bowling balls flung as he was fully pulled in, some blood splattering out.
Mordecai: (gasps) Uncle Steve!
He watched as Steve was pulled in with him gaining cuts on the sides.
Uncle Steve: Mordy, why did you have to play another gameeeeeeeeee!
He finally disintegrated, leaving blood trails while Mordecai was splashed with some blood on himself.
(End Dream Sequence)
He yelped, panting a bit before looking at the empty bed.
Mordecai: Rigby? Jet? Wave? Storm? Marine?
When he looked at the foot of his bed, he noticed a familiar figure, though undead and ghost-like with glowing eyes turn his head backward.
Mordecai: (panics) AHHHHH!!
He quickly rubbed his eyes, then noticed the dead uncle no longer there, making him worry.
Mordecai: What the hell did I just see?
The bird went to the bathroom, turning on the sink before washing his face. After a few moments of splattering himself with water, he turned it off before grabbing a towel to wipe his face. When he looked up, he yelped, noticing his uncle in the mirror.
Quickly, he ducked down and closed his eyes.
Mordecai: I AM BEING HAUNTED BY THE POLTERGEIST!
He slapped himself a bit, sweating a bit.
Mordecai: (to himself) Get a hold of yourself, Mordecai, all the guilt is making you see things. It’s not real, it’s not real.
He glanced up and opened his eyes, noticing the dead uncle again before gasping, turning and noticing the undead bird.
Mordecai: (darts off) AHHHHHH!!
The blu jay quickly ran down the halls, panting in fear before looking at one of the paintings turned into Uncle Steve. Then, he looked at the other paintings, noticing them turning into Uncle Stevens as well, glaring at the bird. The bird panted more with the ghost flying above him. Downstairs, Mordecai came to the couch where he saw the five he mentioned watching TV.
Mordecai: Guys, Rigby, I can't stop seeing my dead uncle!
Rigby: (changing channels) Ugh. Me either.
Marine: (points) He's on TV. What does it bloody look like!?
Mordecai turns and saw a commercial for Freddy's.
Freddy: Come on down to Freddy's, where the fantasy and fun never ends!
Mordecai: (confused) My uncle is Freddy?
Rigby: No, no. Wait a few seconds for him to show up.
Storm: Well don't show that!!
It changed to where the TV showed Steve on the TV with glowing green eyes.
Uncle Steve: (sing-songy) Mordy...
The tie of his lit up.
Just then, the TV broke with the ghost coming out.
Six: (panics) AHHHH!!
Finally, the six darted out of the house.
As soon as they were away, Rigby looked worried.
Rigby: Dude! I thought your uncle was dead!
Mordecai: He is!
Jet: The guy's undead, ya turd!
The undead bird continued following with the six darting through the bushes.
Uncle Steve: Mordy...
They grunted, coming out of the bushes a bit later, darting toward the cemetery. As soon as they were inside, Wave looked worried.
Wave: Where's the zombie? Or ghost? Or whatever he is now?!
Rigby: Did we lose him?
They yelped, tripping to the ground and groaning. After a moment, they gasped, noticing themselves near the uncle's grave.
Storm: Crap, we're trapped!
They turned, looking at the undead bird coming close to them.
Storm: Don't eat me and turn me to you! (shows Marine) Take Marine. No one likes her!
Marine: (snaps) You jerk!
The dead bird growled before coughing a bit before smiling a bit.
Uncle Steve: Mordy, hey I bet you thought I forgot. Well here you go.
He showed the familiar 5 dollars to the group.
The living blu jay only took the cash.
Rigby: Dude, it's your five bucks!
Uncle Steve: (grins) Hey, a promise is a promise.
Mordecai: (smiles) Wow. Thanks, Uncle Steve.
Uncle Steve: Ah, no problem. You take care now.
He finally dug down the hole, burying himself once more.
Rigby: (bewildered) That's it?! He came back just to give you 5 bucks?!
Storm: But what if the cash is haunted too?!
After a few moments, Storm fainted to the ground.
Wave: (dryly) Our hero.
Mordecai: Dude, come on. Who ever heard of cash that's haunted? Unless you're that rich guy who used to haunt Daffy Duck.
(End of Segment 1)
Mordecai: The end.
Benson: What the hell’s wrong with you!?!?
Benson: (points) Just look at Pops and Mr. Nervous!
He pointed to Pops looking frightened and clutching to Brian while Mr. Nervous cradled himself.
Pops: (shivers) Oh, it’s all right, I’m fine really.
Rigby: But the ending's boring! He just came back to give Mordecai 5 bucks! I mean, it's like coming back to life and never moving on because you left the stove on!
Brian: Look, maybe if I tell a better story that doesn't frigthen anyone, that could work.
Stewie: (dryly) Oh really? Like the novel no one cares about?
Most laughed hysterically, annoying Brian before the phone was heard ringing, making Mr. Nervous and Pops jump.
Mr. Nervous: AHHH! Something's ringing and haunting us!
Bowser: Nervous, Pops, chill. It's just the phone.
Mr. Nervous; THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!
Strong Bad: What house? We're in a van!
Mordecai: I’m gonna take this.
He turned on the cell phone.
On the split screen, it showed Margaret smiling while Lois, Meg, and Chris Griffin each looked around.
Mordecai: Oh, hey Margaret.
Margaret: We just got to the party.
Lois: Peter, are you inside?
Peter leaned to where Mordecai was.
Mordecai: No, actually we’re still driving. We got a little lost.
Peter Griffin: It's no thanks to Goat Meg that we're lost and he's telling crappy stories.
Meg: (annoyed) Ugh, even if I'm not here, you're insulting me!
Peter Griffin: (points through) Not you, Meg! The other Meg that's with us.
Thomas: My name's Thomas.
Peter Griffin: (glares) Shut up, Goat Meg.
Margaret: Aw man, that’s a bummer.
Chris: What!? But we were suppose to go trick or treating inside!
Mordecai: It's cool though, we’ve been telling scary stories.
Margaret: Hey, I’ve got a good one, put me on speaker phone.
Mordecai: (to the group) Hey, Margaret's gonna tell a story.
The phone was put on speaker.
Benson: (frowns) It'd better not be scary!
Strong Bad: Whiner!
Margaret: Don't worry, it's a funny one. It all started we were getting into the cart to go to a Halloween movie...
(End of Act 1)